White Brown and Beige

My Many Money Making Machinations....so far.

2011-02-05T22:58:00.000-08:00

(Ah, alliteration always aides an author when she can't think of an appropriate appellation!)

So Jack and I shared a bowl of popcorn for dinner last night (and, by the way, we both woke up starving this morning....do you suppose it's correlation or causation?) and it got me thinking about all the various jobs I've had, or other money-making efforts I've put forth throughout my life.

At this point you might be wondering how eating popcorn for dinner triggered memories of past employment ventures? Well, all I can say is "Good Question!" It's totally random, but this is how it all came about, if you care to hear:

First of all, by "sharing" I mean Jackson ate the actual popcorn while I spent my time picking out the partially popped kernels at the bottom of the bowl - my favorite part. Unfortunately, for me, our microwave is quite efficient, and I only found 3 or 4 perfectly "almost-popped" pieces of popcorn. This, to say the least, left me feeling hungry, disappointed, and (as I pushed the bowl away with dramatic sulk) dreaming about another time and place in my life. A time when I had access to endless quantities of those little almost-popped-yet-not-quite-popped popcorn kernels, or nubbins of pure pleasure. The time was high school, and the place was my evening job at a Movie Theater.

The Theater was a small, single-screen flash back to the 1970's - complete with floor to ceiling, mustard yellow shag carpet (or was that Kenny's VW Bus? I can remember.). Anyway, I loved working there because I basically got paid to sell a few tickets, some candy/popcorn/soda, and then watch free movies whenever I wanted. And best of all, there was that little kernel trap on the popcorn machine that filled up with those delicious popcorn kernels by the end of each night. And I got to enjoy their crunchy goodness by the scoopful - Yum!

So the trip down employment memory lane all started by dreaming of a time, during my formative years, eating endless supplies popcorn kernels at a movie theater. From there my thoughts eventually wandered to the many other money making avenues I've traversed throughout my life, such as: (in no particular order)

1) Cleaning of a Real Estate Office (along with my siblings): For this job I had to lower my otherwise high professional aspirations, significantly, to clean toilets and empty trash bins for cash. It was one of very few underage money acquisition options available to me, and I took what I could get at that age. I can't say I loved it.

2) Working Artist: This was a pretty lame attempt on my part to procure some quick spending cash while still limited by the above referenced lack of options offered to underagers. (On a side note, I am pretty sure it was my sister Jaime's idea. But, alas, I am the one who actually executed the scheme, so I alone live with the embarrassment.) I decided (or was advised) to make stickers and sell them door-to-door in my neighborhood. Cute, right? No. The "stickers" I made were basically crappy little picture/doodles I drew (without much effort to be honest), cut out, and (for the "stick" part of "sticker") attached a piece of tape to the back of each. I stuck these little scraps-of-paper onto a display board and walked around the neighborhood selling them for 10 - 25 cents apiece (depending on size). *This job lasted ONE (1)day.

3) PAPER GIRL: Ahh, the dreaded paper route, where I had to get up ridiculously early EVERY SINGLE DAY (EVEN-ON-WEEKENDS-HOLIDAYS-SUMMER-BREAKS-AND-ALL-OTHER-SCHOOL-VACATIONS)!!! To add to the misery, I then had to go around the neighborhood to collect (aka beg for) my paycheck. Most of the time people either weren't home, didn't have cash/check, or they simply asked me to "come back later" b/c "it's not a good time." (How dare I interrupt their dinner?) This always conveniently worked in their favor (and I'd bet significant sums of money most of them knew it) b/c after awhile I'd eventually give up and they would end up with months worth of complimentary daily papers - on me, a broke 10 year kid.

*I'm not sure why it never occurred to me to just stop delivering papers to these reprobates (no decent person regularly rips off kids trying to make a decent living? Or consistently forces them to work 2x, 3x, even 4+x harder than needed to get their already hard earned paycheck!)...or at the very least I should have added a service charge for each time I had to come back to collect, plus interest on the amount owed, & maybe charge a little overhead fee for the reminders I had to create, on paper I had to buy, and the extra time it took to attach them to their respective morning papers, etc. I was such a sucker, and obviously lacked any sense of business acumen!

4) Bag Boy (or girl). It was pretty much everything one imagines it will be:
"Paper or plastic?"
"Would you like help out with that sir?" (b/c a scrawny little 13 year-old pretending to be a 15 year-old can help lift that 50lb bag of dog food if you'd like.)

"Pardon me, but your kid just threw a carton of eggs out of your cart...see them, yeah right there on the floor? Oh, those are the marks from the wheels on your cart...yeah probably made as you passed over the broken eggs multiple times without noticing them? Would you like me to go grab you another carton before I clean up your mess?"

5) Fast Food Mexican Restaurant: Good food! Didn't mind making it. Loved eating it. Hated smelling like it...made after work plans on Friday nights near impossible.

6) Live Theater: I was an Usher...though really I think it was a useless job. I mean who can't look on their ticket stub and find their own seat? Anyway, I wasn't in the job to feel (or be) useful, I just wanted the free theater tickets (and any extra cash I could come across while a "poor" college student didn't hurt either). *While at the theater I also landed a small role in a play one year...as an usher, a really annoying usher! I did have lines though, so I felt pretty cool.

7) Nursing Home: At one point in my life I contemplated becoming a nurse (you know the whole, should I follow in my big sister's footsteps thing), so I decided to become a Certified Nurse's Assistant (CNA) first, to see if I could/should/or even wanted to become a nurse. As a CNA I worked in an Assisted Living/Nursing-Home/Rehabilitation-Center agglomerate. I learned quickly that no matter what I decided to become when I grew up, I was not going to be ANYTHING in an old folks home. Not that I didn't like the people (I had some definite favorites...especially in the Alzheimer's unit), but in general it was just too sad for me to handle. *Ultimately, I decided not to pursue a career in nursing - though the decision had nothing to do with this experience.

8) Yet Another Grocery Store: This time as a checker, a sometimes stocker, receiver and orderer, and eventually a bookkeeper. I wasn't in love (or even in like) with this job, but at the time the benefits were hard to beat (especially since I was still in college) and greatly needed.

9) The Restaurant: I was a hostess - and the job description basically consisted of greeting & smiling coquettishly at customers, seating them, and getting their drinks started. We had to wear these little black cocktail dresses and stilettos every night. The dresses were actually not too bad, and I have to admit they were understandable uniforms considering the job description and venue - but painful by the end of the night.

10) The Office: I was the Office Manager and did a little bit of many things. That doesn't quite capture the essence of the job...but all I'm going to say is that it was short-lived and related to "summer sales" (if you don't know what I'm referring to, don't worry, I didn't have a clue going into it either).

11) The Hotel: Concierge. This was a fun job....for many reasons, but my favorite part was when I was forced to man the VIP lounge. I would consistently serve more than the allotted "free drinks" b/c the VIPs (even the infamously cheap ones) always eventually tipped generously - those were good nights (cash-wise). My least favorite part was being forced to listen (with feigned interest) as various people, who fully believed they were better than me b/c they have more money, talked/bragged about their money and accomplishments.Booooooo-or-ing!

12) The Opinion Surveys: My sibs and I all participated in some survey/test thing related to (I think) the foster child we had in our home for awhile. As a result (again, I think) our names ended up on some list, and we'd get calls to do taste tests and then give our opinions for cash. We talk about everything from what the product tastes like to what we thought about potential names, etc. I went a few times, and really enjoyed it (btw: they also fed you a decent spread before the actual taste test, which I also enjoyed). *This particular experience was very near and dear to my heart, b/c it is the one job I've held that fully aligns with my all time employment dreams: getting paid to give my opinion.

13) The Baby Sitter: This was one of my least favorite jobs as a youth. You see I like kids, and I like playing with kids, but I really don't like being in charge of kids...even for a limited duration. I'd rather have their parents around for if/when "no" needs to be said...& the parents get to say it - not me! Also, who really likes changing diapers, wiping snotty noses, and cleaning sticky hands? (Even if their your own children?)

14) The Envelope Stuffer: I think I got paid a portion of a cent per envelope...I can't remember the details (there's a lot I can't quite remember it seems), but I do remember the paper cuts.

15) The Baker: My sister and I, and possibly a few friends or other siblings decided to have a bake sale. I think we may have tried a lemonade stand first, but I'm not sure we sold much. This was worse. We managed to sell a lot, and felt really good about our efforts, but I think we ended up in the red. Too bad, we worked hard on this one!

16) The Pet Feeder: Dogs, cats, a couple of parrots and a ferret.("This is a ferret. What's a ferret? That's a ferret. Oh!" - What Movie?)
*With the parrots I made the mistake of letting one out to play...not good. 4 hours later my mom finally came looking for me, and it took another hour for the two of us to get that dirty bird back in its cage!
*The ferret was just gross, in general. Also, Ferret's have freakishly long mid-sections, which really weirds me out for some reason.

17) The House Sitter...I've learned that unless you have a luxury home, complete with pool room, movie theater, and ocean views, etc. I'm not interested. (It takes a lot to keep me from my own bed.)

18) Current Employment: 1) Special Purpose Government employee and 2) Mom. The first job I can't really mock, praise or otherwise comment on, as I'd like to keep it....and you know what they say about people getting fired for things they say on-line. (One can never be too careful these days.) As for the second job, well, I have far too much to say about it, my opinions and final judgements are ever changing, and this post is already too long, so I'll spare you all my self-righteous, hypocritical opinions on motherhood. (Instead, I'll save those for my future daughter-in-law)!

Well that seems to be about it (or at least that's all I can recall)...for now.

(I estimate you'll be hearing from me again in approximately 4 months.)

The Lying Down Game

2010-06-17T22:36:00.000-07:00

"Update" I've been meaning to post for awhile now, or at least for 14 days: Bike Month is now over....

2010-06-14T22:31:00.001-07:00

...a couple of weeks ago actually, and I am proud to say that I managed to ride 100% in the Month of May...well 100% of the work days in the Month of May...actually I took one day of PTO, so 100% of the work days that I worked in the Month of May (it counts -I asked - see proof below!!!!). All of my hard work riding each a.m./p.m, and packing my work clothes/make-up/hair-crap/etc./etc. in my ridiculously large backpack, whilst getting soaked in the bloomin' (my favorite word btw) record setting May rain, added up to a whopping

133 Miles of Pure Accomplishment!!!!! Yay me (see stats below for "I Bleed Purple!!!" - cause I do:)):

Upon review of our team's final stats, I was feeling pretty cool - the only 100%er on my team (though I wasn't the highest miles-wise, but we could only count the miles to and from our regular work site and our home, so I really couldn't do much about that) - when I came upon the stats of one of the competing teams from my place-of-work that shattered all feelings of coolness or accomplishment. Please see "Jeff" below:

Holy crap Jeff!!!! Way to put everyone else to shame (actually I am pretty sure there were many other fanatics in Seattle that biked as many, if not more miles, but I am only concerned with my direct competition). To be fair - to me and everyone else operating within the confines of a HUMAN BODY - this guy is a machine...he is the Everest climbing/Great Wall jogging/bionic-man sort, and I am constantly trying to convince myself that I can hardly be expected to keep up with him...though I have to admit it is really hard to be excited about 133 when 887 is out there too. To make it worse, he also biked 100%, so I don't even get the pleasure of holding that over him...as I would feel no shame in doing regardless of the fact that my 100% was comprised of 7 mile round-trip journeys, while his was just under 45 mile/round-trippers, but alas, he robbed me of that satisfaction as well.

*Sadly, I wasn't able to procure any sweet pics of me on my bike...mid-hill, in the rain. This was largely due to my flat-out refusal to allow anyone to take my picture during or after my huffing it up Dravus - which I wholly regret now - as I've always had a particular fondness for ugly pics of myself...what was I thinking?).

It's ride your bike to work month....or someting to that affect...

2010-05-03T22:58:00.001-07:00

…and much to my family's (and my own) dismay, I am officially a biker (though it’s likely a limited duration classification - i.e. only in the summer months)...Actually, I am not a ‘biker’ as defined by Seattle standards, instead I happen to use a bike to commute to work...there is a distinction - a very important one (or three that I can think of off hand)…to me…and my self-respect:

1. I am aware that there are rules (some like to call them laws, ordinances, in Washington "RCWs", or other such legal terms) of the road. Furthermore, I follow those rules!!!!!!!!!!! (i.e. a red light means STOP, or pedestrians in a cross walk are not in fact required to yield to me!)

2. I do not have sponsors, as apparently so many others on the bike trail do; therefore, I try to refrain from wearing my Nike, Powerbar, and Livestrong emblazoned spandex set - unless of course everything else is dirty. You see I like to save those for special commutes – like the one to the Arc de Triomphe, via the Champs-Élysées!

3. Finally, while I do have very specific reasons to ride, those reasons do NOT include the self-righteous/I-think-I’m-better-than-everyone-else (see dictionary definition for Leonardo DiCaprio and/or Al Gore) belief that I am somehow a better person b/c commuting by bike happens to lower my Carbon foot print a bit! (at least until I get on a really large private plane - to tour the world - while pontificating about the virtues of riding my bike to work….but come on, who’s counting, and why get hung up on details when it’s the big picture message that’s key).

Yes, I do have my reasons, very specific reasons, but for the sake of keeping this already-too-long-post-considering-I'm-just-announcing-the-commencement-of-Bike-Month from becoming even longer, I'll just give the gist. My reasons are:

Part political. Let’s face it, it’s a green world out there these days my friends, and I’m no dummy.
1. My current employer is committed to being the Greenest of its kind in the entire US (actually it might be “in the entire world,” but it’s late and I can’t quite remember the slogan at the moment), and as I’ve heard over and over during the last 2 years from various sources at work: “if you’re not in the tent…..you’re out of it????” (no, that can’t be right….hmmm, yet again it’s late and I can’t quite remember how it goes – but the point is I’m gonna be in that tent until I’m good and ready to move on, of my own volition, to those greener pastures I keep hearing about).
2. I am not above making friends in high places - well “high” relative to my world – and while on the trail (so I hear) there is ample opportunity to make such friends (some call this type of friend-making “networking” but I call it butt-kissing err..being political); and of course,
3. I do live in Seattle (that really should be a stand-alone/no-explanation-necessary reason).

Part vanity. Everyone is overly busy these days, it seems, and I don't know about you, but when I get too busy to fit-it-all-in the first thing I give up is EXERCISE - boo! (I loathe the fact that that's true almost as much as I loathe my resulting body - alas, vanity)! Admittedly it isn't much, but a nice 20 minute ride every a.m. and then another 20 minutes in the p.m. does wonders (both physically and mentally). I also enjoy the added bonus of living on a ridiculously steep hill, so by the time I get up the blasted thing my legs are jelly, and it almost feels like I've managed to fit in a proper workout after all!

Part pure enjoyment. Have you seen Elliott Bay recently? It's stunning:

And who wouldn't want a daily dose of breathtaking scenery to start their day?

Regardless of my reasons, and my only somewhat convincing attempts to distinguish myself from the (dare I say) ‘typical’ Seattle biker*, I still feel like I’ve gone Benedict on my nearest and dearest. I know they will tease or guilt me about it, and reject all my attempts to justify it, so instead of offering further explanations/justifications, or other attempts to save face, I’ve decided to own it. Yes I am going to embrace it (the “happens to use a bike to commute to work” not the “biker” – oops, there I go again), write about it (perhaps), and then spew it into the virtual world…to do my best to live up to the "annoying" biker stereotype.

(*I am in no way referring to any bikers I am personally acquainted with, b/c I know for an absolute surety that all of you uphold the rules of the road, there is no need to mock your biking attire,and there couldn't possibly be one self-righteous bone found among you).

Bloomin' Kimo

2010-03-24T18:43:00.001-07:00

and I went on a bike ride last week - to enjoy the beautiful weather. I actually wanted to sleep in that day, but Kimo insisted...

...and then whined,

dramatized the "hills,"

...and was, in general, a punk.
(It was a bit amusing though, and these pictures still crack me up! I only hope Kimo doesn't mind that I am posting them...he is currently out of town, and has not been consulted on the subject, but I figure he posed for them - and one shouldn't pose for pictures they don't want ending up on the internet...b/c if you do, they will!)

So I have a new toy

2010-02-13T02:47:00.000-08:00

It is called a Bamboo Pen, and it was acquired due to a recent post of mine, combined with some newly found personal guilt that I will not go into at the moment. I pretty much suck at it right now, but it's trey fun to play around with, so I don't overly care about my suckiness. It is basically a pen (and tablet) that enables one to sketch, doodle, create graphics and cartoons (I sound a bit redundant here), produce handwritten notes, draw, paint, and edit, etc. etc. digitally! And, since you use a pen on a textured tablet - in an attempt to simulate the pen on paper experience - it feels more natural (aka: "easier") than trying to edit/manipulate via a mouse (Yes I know this isn't breaking news or anything - for many of you out there - but it is new[s] and exciting to me).

The software (Corel Painter Essentials) comes with multiple (and very helpful) video tutorials (most of which I've watched already - though to be honest it's a lot of info. to take in all at once - and it's really late - so I'm not sure how much I've retained), and it all seems very user friendly. That said, when I did begin to dabble (on my own) I was forced to keep reverting back to the applicable tutorial (a practice I'll probably have to repeat multiple times before I manage to remember everything) in order to do pretty much anything. Regardless, it was fun!

I really enjoyed the "photo painting" (feels like "cheater painting") feature, where I was able to take this photo:

and with a few clicks: "photo painting" combined with some "blurring," "scribbling," and face "restoration" (I'm not likely using the correct vernacular here), I was able to create this:

(if you click on the pic for a bigger version, I think it looks...better.)

Ok, ok I admit it isn't exactly a Vincent or a Pablo, a Frida, Henri, Andy, or Gustav...by any stretch of the imagination (even my sometimes over-active/delusional imagination)! History won't "Remembrandt" me for it (har, har! - it's late and at 2:40 in the a.m. it's funny...to me!), and I fully acknowledge that if I was able to create it, it can't be all that complicated (and trust me, it wasn't), and I don't expect anyone to be begging me for prints any time soon (this may be the longest sentence ever, and is more than likely a grammatical monstrosity), but I like it!

~On a side note, and b/c I LOVE side notes, I do want you all* to know that I know that I totally over-use/abuse/apply-incorrectly-more-often-than-not punctuation...and don't even get me started on my total disregard for grammatical rules and structure...an FYI in case you were wondering, or were otherwise cringing at my writing "skills" and "style."

[*both of you]

Do you think you'll ever have another kid?

2010-02-10T21:49:00.001-08:00

Hmmm...It isn't exactly wise to say "never" (I'm not one to question a tried and true cliche after all - so "never say never"), but to be honest I don't know if I'll "ever." On a side note, and not really what you asked, I've always found it a very odd topic of convo, for me anyways, talking about my reproductive choices with anyone other than my spouse. Though many, many people have asked me about it, from family members telling me I should have one (weird), to friends asking out of simple curiosity (only weird b/c I am weird about it in the first place), to perfect strangers giving me advice as to how to guarantee a girl vs. a boy (trey weird!), etc. I am still pretty uncomfortable with the topic. I guess the short of it is: I won't say "I'll never" and I won't say "I'll ever" - which basically means I won't say anything at all. But who knows, one day you may see me round (fat) and glowing (sweating b/c of the extra weight) with child again...(assuming you saw me the first time around)!

Ask me anything

Did you design your header on this page?

2010-02-09T20:21:00.001-08:00

Nope. I am not an artist by any stretch, though I fantasize about being one on a fairly regular basis!

Ask me anything

In the pic below, Jack is informing me that "she" (Kim Kardashian via lifesize Sephora Ad) is in her underwear:

2010-02-08T20:02:00.001-08:00

...and the very next shot:

What would your dream job look like?

2010-02-08T19:10:00.001-08:00

I haven't figured it out yet. The only thing I am sure about is that it would have to be something I love doing...and I mean LOVE to the point I would be willing to do it (whatever "it" happens to be) for free!

Ask me anything

What was the happiest moment in your life?

2010-02-08T19:02:00.001-08:00

birth (my own)- it was great!

Ask me anything

Why were you and your child eating dinner at 8:57?

2010-02-08T16:47:00.001-08:00

b/c we ate lunch at 5:00.

Ask me anything

I cooked tonight...

2010-02-04T21:06:00.001-08:00

...well the oven actually did the cooking - all I did was "place frozen pizza on center rack" and keep a close watch on the oven's progress. A REALLY CLOSE watch that is:

Upon Jack's suggestion we decided to sit in front of the stove, looking in on our soon-to-be-dinner, THE ENTIRE TIME it cooked. We wouldn't want the pizza to burn after all (timers are so unreliable these days).

Two minutes down, and feeling like the entire "12 to 16" had already passed...twice, Jack, while absentmindedly (or seemingly so) coloring/doodling on his yellow legal pad, decides to strike up a casual kindergartener convo.

Jack: Mom, did you hear about the earthquake?
Me: What earthquake? [Yes, I had in fact "heard about it" - but I was momentarily distracted by a spot on the floor that I hadn't noticed before, while at the same time wondering how long it had been there without me noticing, and then of course focused on trying to scrub it off with a paper towel (too lazy to get a brush), so it didn't register what he was talking about/asking.]
Jack: The one in Haiti. It seemed horrible to me.
Me: Oh yeah that one (I'm not an idiot I tell myself, even though I feel like one). It was horrible.

"Hmmm." I think to myself. I am constantly trying to ascertain Jack's thoughts on various things in the world (or at least his world) by (wait for it) asking him questions: How was school today? Did you learn anything new? What is your favorite subject? However, my inquiries are always met with pretty short, simple and not exactly soul-revealing responses: Good. Nope. Recess. Obviously direct questions are not the most effective approach to get my child to "open up," share some thoughts, or wax philosophical with me, but sitting on two little stools (actually one stool and one Play-Doh bucket turned upside down), watching a Freschetta Brick Oven Pizza begin to bubble, works like magic. I never would have thought to try that approach...on purpose.

He continues on: Oh and did you hear what Barack Obama's wife said?"
Me: Uhhhh no?!?!?.. (this time I really didn't - though in my defense I have been out of the country for the last few weeks, hearing about what Brown's wife said not Obama's)
Jack: She said to give a prayer to help save their lives - the kids [lives]. (on a side note: I've noticed Jack cares far more about the welfare of other kids than adults....adults can fend for themselves - we don't need his sympathies apparently) And we should call 1-800-499. [I'm guessing that's not a valid number]
Me: Oh. Why call 1-800-499?
Jack: To give prayers to the hurt people. From the Earthquake (said with a strong "DUH!!!!" tone of voice).
Me: Wow, that's pretty cool. Did you call?
Jack: Nope. I gave prayers at night in my bed - but not on the phone.
Me: (being nosey) What did you say in your prayers?
Jack: ------ (no answer. goes back to coloring. convo over...apparently - his terms, not mine.)

He did finish his picture with the color purple, "because that's your favorite color momma!" Oh how i'd love unfettered access to that little brain of his. Children are so enigmatic.

Just Returned From the Motherland...

2010-01-30T14:39:00.000-08:00

...and though there is nothing quite like being home (I was seriously considering hugging the customs officer who was the first to "welcome [me] home" when I arrived in Atlanta, for some unknown emotional/overly-patriotic reason I never knew existed within me), I must say that I love the UK! (and I love even more that that rhymes!)

This trip was limited to London (and a one day-jaunt to Bath), and though we clocked a lot of hours, train miles, and steps walked (I L.O.V.E that everyone walks in London...and after only few days my butt started to love it too!) I still feel like the tour was too short.

As a result of this trip, I have decided that there are just too many things to do and see in London (et al), so I've decided it is necessary that we (Kimo, Jack and I....and really anyone else interested in a move across the great blue) will have to live there for at least a year (I am still working out the details).

I may do a set of blogs (a more comprehensive serious of our trip), but I am a pretty lazy blogger, and it is therefore unwise that I commit to anything, so for now here are a few shots:

Westminster Abbey- every Royals' favorite crypt in which to be crowned, wedded, and then eventually laid to rest among other former royals (many of whom killed each other's various relatives, or were killed themselves in order for some royal or another to gain power - and then to make amends, married other non-slaughtered relatives, also in W.Abbey, as a gesture of reconciliation, cooperation and respect).

Westminster Palace (aka:Big Ben and Parliament): where you can tour for free after simply obtaining a letter from an MP (even one we suspect doesn't actually exist), a brief pat-down, mug shot, and bag search.

The above shot of Heath is taken in Westminster Hall (within Westminster Palace), and was the only place within the Palace where we were allowed to take pictures. Though I found picture taking bans were pretty common place (in the various tourist havens we frequented), I usually interpreted them to be "don't make it obvious" or "don't get caught" warnings; however, in this case (probably due to the pat-down, mug shot, purse screening introduction) I decided to take it more seriously - though it was very difficult to do as this may have been the coolest place we toured. (ahhh, so many missed crappy-photo-taking opportunities) **On a side note, I do realize that I could very easily get better pictures of all the places we visited (minus our shining faces) online; however, I think blurry, off-centered, and otherwise crappy photos are far cooler - they are proof that I was actually there - that I didn't just hide out in my house for weeks (avoiding work, phone calls, visitors, FB/Twitter/Blog stocking, and in general the world), making up stories to tell while photoshopping my face into beautifully crafted photos. Nope, I was there - and I have crappy pictures to prove it!

Ahhh, the Harry Potter Bridge (aka the Millennium Bridge) and the Tate Modern Museum!

*(The "HP" bridge b/c it is the bridge that the Death Eaters destroy in the recent cinematic depiction of Ms. Rowling's 6th).

**The Tate Modem Museum won my heart immediately by 2 things: 1 - "Free Admission" - I love that museums in the UK are free. And, 2 - "Warhol Exhibition" (don't ask me why - or you can if you REALLY want to know, but I love Andy's Death and Disaster Serious - I just can't get enough!). Also, upon entering and viewing some of Tate's art my little bro. Isaac's face was absolutely entertaining/priceless - he looked so uncomfortable, and I'm pretty sure he didn't have a clue what to think about or how to respond to some/anything in that place. Jaime and I wanted to go back and do a guided tour, but we never got around to it (hence the need to live there, so we can spend hours upon hours, days upon days, etc.)

The Prime Meridian OF THE WORLD (Greenwich)!!!! I don't know why that sounds so dramatic to me - though being the place where time began is pretty significant! Greenwich was beautiful btw, and I would love to spend some more time exploring that interesting part of London (there were some CRAZY buildings/architecture and great parks, etc.)

The London Eye: which I snobbed the last time I was in London, but found that it is actually pretty cool. It is ridiculously large. and for some reason I couldn't get over its size - it is a really, really big....wheel, hmmm. One revolution takes about 30ish minutes, and I can't think of any other place in London with a comparable view.

This is Brick Lane, also known as the best place to get Indian food outside of India (although 'they' say the food here is better than in India - since I have yet been to India in order to test that claim, I cannot give a comparative opinion; however, I can say that this food was trey, TREY bien!). This is a street lined with Indian restaurants, and at each restaurant there is a man (or two) basically pimping their restaurant: "I'll give you 30% off" - "drinks for free" - "free naan" - "If he said 30% I'll give you 35%" etc. It was interesting. I am not accustomed to bartering the price of food, especially at a restaurant, but it was kind of fun. We ended up getting 35% off the total bill, 2 free drinks each (they scored here considering we don't drink the "pricey" drinks), and free appetizer. If you ever go to London do not, I repeat DO NOT, pay the West End prices. They are tempting (Indian food before or after the Theater), but Brick Lane is better (both price and food).

The London Underground (and Big Ben....I love that there are so many places throughout London where Big Ben's face can be seen): this is such a great transportation system. Living in Seattle, where I can't even begin to go into the problems we have with our pretty much non-existent transportation "system", makes the London underground seem like transportation heaven. Though I did read complaints from some outraged Londoners, such as: "I had to wait 15 minutes for my train the other day" - I couldn't help but think "I wish I only had to wait 15 minutes....I wish I only had to wait 30 minutes...In fact, I wish I could catch the bus more than 2x an hour (during peak hours - otherwise 1x an hour)....oh and I also wish that the bus actually helped me get around town (and not just to one basic/central point from which to begin my trek towards a final destination point)." No, give me a 15 minute (though I never actually waited more than 5 minutes, and usually a train pulled up just as I entered the applicable platform) wait for my train any day over the Seattle Metro!

And finally, for now, London's amazing West End Theatre District. Not only are you able to find a wide variety of shows (old and new) to see at any given time, but there are also countless booths that sell discount tickets (and you can also go to the actual theaters to get day-of discount tickets). There is one booth in particular, located in Leicester Square, where you can always get good seats at a discounted rate (something I don't think you can always count on). It opens at 10:00 am daily if you're interested. -Oliver was adorable by the way, cute kid actors, great music and sets, etc.

In general, I love, love LOVE London, and I want to go back asap, but I am also happy to be home:

(I did miss my crazy family after all!)

5 years later...

2009-09-07T20:23:00.000-07:00

My once-upon-at-time baby is now a big kindergartner:

Boo! I keep asking him to stop growing, but he refuses, and breaks my heart every time.

Summer 2009 - or at least I'm pretty sure these all take place sometime between Mayish and Augustish 2009:

2009-09-01T01:01:00.000-07:00

There were some pretty hot days this summer...

While my cupcakes were melting in the inferno I call home,

I was out running in record breaking temps, at 6:00 in the evening, while really needing to pee (long story - or not really but let's just say the run was uncomfortable for more reasons than the heat....making a disgusting porta potty seem like a day spa).

We watched the Seafair Parade - it's tradition after all.

We visited this ultra-cool (literally - the water was very cold) Slip n' Slide at Ensign.

We went camping (very short and sweet) and Jack's obsession with music escalated this summer (Heath you will be shocked to hear him play the uke...and he is coming along on the piano as well).

In August we flew into Santa Ana's John Wayne, for a brief Disneyland vacation.

Here we are right before the fireworks (notice we only bothered to take pictures one day, as evidenced by the not-so-varied outfits).

**On our way to Disneyland we stopped at a little gift shop (I can't even remember why we went in there, b/c I am pretty sure we didn't actually buy anything), and Jack was so excited by all the Disney paraphernalia that he was refusing to leave...I tried to explain to him how crappy that little shop was in comparison to the park we were about to go to....and how he could waste far more of my money at Disneyland than he could dream of doing at the shop; however, he wasn't convinced...until we got there:

...and here we are on our first ride of the visit, the Buzz Light Year adventure (of some sort). Jack finally decided I might (might) know what I am talking about, as the park did prove to be far better than the crappy gift shop.

And then there's me. All alone. Ditched by my first (and only) born. He decided he would rather ride with his aunt Jaime instead of me, making it appear as if I waited in that ridiculously long line (which I am pretty sure was far longer than ANY other ride in the entire park....including the actual big name rides i.e. Splash Mountain, Indiana Jones, etc.) b/c I actually wanted to go on a ride that circles until you puke...or at least feel very close to it. (For the record, I absolutely adore roller coasters, and rides of a similar genre, but anything that just spins and/or circles is: One, BORING!!!! and Two, vomit inducing.

(I Haven't the slightest idea where this picture came from, what it is, or who took it, hmmm...)

Here Jaime looks very excited that I am taking her picture...in front of California Adventure. Now I may be wrong (as I have never tried to verify it - nor will I as I rather like my observation, and hope no one proves it wrong) but I believe that California is the only state to have an "experience itself" themed park...which really makes me wonder: If you are already in California, why do you need to go to a park to 'experience' it? Weird. On a side note, well a side note to what is already a side note, I was disappointed that there wasn't a mini Disney Land within the park (after all Disneyland is certainly part of the California Experience) - or a mini California Adventure (within the California Adventure) for that matter. Someone should get on that!

Another 'right-before-the-fireworks-so-we-are-killing-time-by-taking-pictures' shot.

Jack and his sweet cousin Kaleigh.

On our way to the Indiana Jones ride here...Jack is soooooo excited. This is also, curiously, the ONLY ride that anyone actually bothered to measure him....and they did it 3 or 4 times. Apparently, on every other ride (where he had to be at least 41 inches) he clearly looked the height, but for this particular ride he all of the sudden looked much shorter. Maybe it was the lighting, or the angles?

...and here we are on our way out - and relieved that Jack made it out unscathed despite his questionable height.

Here Kaleigh is trying to escape while I am doing "something" to distract her parents (not sure what, but Jaime, Allison, and Isaac are all looking at me like I'm crazy).

Allison is obviously very excited to have her picture taken.

Jaime and I on the Winnie the Pooh ride - which I think was a pretty creepy ride btw....in fact I thought it was interesting that Jack had no fear problems on any of the big rides, whereas some of the little kid rides (crazy little creatures singing in possessed voices, etc.) freaked him out.

We also went to a water park while in SoCal, and I must say water parks truly are trey fun - as far as the actual slides go - BUT has anyone else noticed how ghetto they can be? I can't pin point exactly what it is about them...all I know is they always feel a bit trashy!

Now the real reason we went on this trip at all was to attend a family reunion (Kimo's side), and here he is getting in touch with his roots:

err....I mean here he is getting in touch with his roots:

This is Kimo's biological Mom and sister,

his mom and dad,

and his sisters Lianne and Liora (and a little stinker in the middle),

And this is a group shot of the Kipeni line...not even a fraction of the total people in attendance...and Jack (who has no stage fright) got up in front of the whole family (total around 500 I believe) and played his uke and sang a little song - I was very impressed, but sadly missed the live version:(

And now summer is over. Boo! Jack starts his first day of kindeygarden next week. I already almost started crying at his open-house yesterday - so I'll surely be a basket case next week. How sad. The school just looked too big for him: He is going to have a locker (? - I didn't think that happened until Jr. High); he will eat lunch in the cafeteria (sans teachers after the first month) - which again I didn't think happened until Jr. High (we always ate at our desks - while being supervised by the teach); and to top it all off, the new trend these days is all day kindergarten. Ahhh kids have to grow up so fast these days!

Apparently, I've given up on blogging (this one doesn't count)....

2009-06-08T20:42:00.000-07:00

...and now I only write solicitation documents, rejection letters, and the occasional formal ultimatum. I could always post one or two...just to keep my blogging numbers up; however, that might be against the law (actually i'm pretty sure it is), and, more importantly, it would make for some incredibly boring posts (unless you happen to be a Consultant - or you REALLY have nothing better to do)!

A little out of order (in terms of trip chronology), but...

2009-04-20T00:00:00.001-07:00

1: I haven't downloaded any new pictures as of late, so instead of posting another set of overly fluorescent people in bathing suits I choose to resort to plane pics;

2: I am extremely lazy, and more than likely won't download any new pictures in the near future (unless of course someone else decides to be helpful and do it for me), so I am forced to work with what is available (i.e. plane pics); and
3: Though it may bore the life out of every poor soul subjected to it, I must post something/anything (even plane pics) in order to rob Heath of enjoying being the "last to post" for too long...

...and so - without further gilding the lily - I present my boring post.

Vacation 2009, Day 1 (Tax Day 04/15/09): Travel Time.

After working a 12 hour day, returning home quite literally sick to my stomach with stress (due to all the work I didn't finish before leaving combined with all the work that will inevitably be piling up while I am away), and quickly packing - I only managed to get an hour or two of shut-eye before my alarm kindly saved me from horrible work dreams/nightmares. I feel compelled to share this not-even-close-to-interesting bit of information because I believe it provides sufficient reasoning for my drugged out/crazed appearance in the above pic (...i.e. the reason I look like a couple eggs shy of a dozen - like a pair of children's scissors: bright and colourful but not too sharp - like my mind is in neutral, but my body is in gear - one neuron short of a synapse - elevator's stuck between floors - wheel still spinning but hamster's dead - a few too many yards between goal posts, etc.)...(see in particular my crazy person eyes). Jack didn't get much sleep either; however, he didn't end up with morning mad eyes...though a few hours into the flight he did suffer a bout of hysterical laughter before finally, instantly, and without warning passing out in the middle of his in-flight meal.

Of course Jaime and Felicia had to show up looking all cute, awake, and (more importantly) sane in order to adequately contrast my not-so-hot/not-so-compos mentis state - little brats!

Even Kimo y Papear, who both opted out of sleeping altogether, seemed to handle the lack of zzzzzz far better than I did with my 2 hour stint - meaning they both managed to come across (relatively) mentally lucid....Although I can't say for sure, because to be perfectly honest I really don't remember most of the day.

I didn't sleep on the plane (technically), but I might as well have been considering how little I'm able to recall post flight. Beyond a few fuzzy memories (Jack laughing uncontrollably, some lady who never got the "use your headphones when on a plane" memo rocking out to her laptop, and a pretty rough/puke inducing - almost - landing) I don't really know where the 5+ hours went.

....the Honolulu airport is all but missing from my conscious mind....

...and though I have many pictures of myself frolicking in the sand upon our arrival at the beach house.....

I can't say I necessarily remember doing it...at least via first-person experience.

(I have no idea when this was taken - but it's a cute non-airplane pic addition to this post)

So, long story short....I missed quite a few moments from the first 24-48 hours of my vaca - but I don't really care. As long as I get to do plenty of this:

(regardless of what I do/do not remember about this trip) I will consider it a well spent vacation!

Bathing Suits, Ballet, and Butt-Crack at the Beach!

2009-04-17T17:17:00.000-07:00

Two Gringas and a Mexican in Hawaii...

A crazy Hawaiian playing his Uke...

...and Hapa Muli-crack! (after only one cloudy day in the sun and Jack already has a tan line).

I can always tell when my Dad has been around.

2009-03-13T00:44:00.001-07:00

Case in point:

Jackson was beside himself with excitement while watching his Grandpa draw on these oranges and banana...

(Jack's excited look)

...though I'm not sure if he was more excited because he thought it was so blooming hilarious, or because he thought Grandpa was going to get in trouble for writing on the fruit in the first place (as opposed to an approved writing surface). As I am currently trying to impress upon the young lad the necessity of using paper WHENEVER using a pen, pencil, crayon, marker, paint, or other conceivable writing utensil - he was VERY interested in how I would react to Grandpa's infraction of the paper laws (this indicates to me that he must be listening...to a point...though not as thoroughly as he could be...just ask the inside of his closet door!).

My benign reaction to Billy et al puzzled him...

I watched his little face process the fact that Grandpa did not actually get in trouble for writing on this 'non-paper' surface, and I could almost see that little light bulb above his head begin to flash - I anticipate that fruit will be the new canvass of choice around our house for while...or at least until I have a discussion with Jack as to why Grandpa is allowed to do things that Jack is not allowed to do! (Also known as the yes-it's-a-double-standard-but-life-ain't-fair,-so-deal-with-it conversation)

I wish I had a better excuse for not blogging lately, but alas....there it is!

2009-02-19T17:10:00.000-08:00

Who exactly is the crappy-picture-culprit? (another random, and pretty pointless post!)

2009-01-25T00:40:00.000-08:00

I have thousands, and thousands, and thousands, and thousands, and thousands, and thousands, and thousands, and thousands, and thousands, and thousands, and thousands, and thousands, and thousands, and thousands, and thousands, and thousands, and thousands, and thousands, and thousands, and thousands, and thousands, and thousands, and thousands, and thousands, and thousands, and thousands, and thousands, and thousands, and thousands, and thousands, and thousands, and thousands, and thousands, and thousands, and thousands, and thousands, and thousands, and thousands, and thousands, and thousands, and thousands, and thousands, and thousands, and thousands, and thousands, and thousands, and thousands, and thousands, and thousands, and thousands, and thousands, and thousands, and thousands, and thousands, and thousands, and thousands, and thousands, and thousands, and thousands, and thousands (you get the point) of pictures on my computer, on disks, on flash drives, stuffed in boxes, and in albums, and on all these thousands and thousands (I'll spare you this again so: etc.) of pictures my image is very rarely represented. This is not because I am shy, hate being photographed, or am self-loathing in anyway. No, this is precisely because I do not trust other people to adequately catalogue any given activity, gathering, or other picture-taking-appropriate event. Why? - one might ask...read on:

Christmas 2008. Apparently I wasn't paying close enough attention at a recent family celebration, because at some point during the party my camera fell into the hands of another. I don't know who exactly this "other" behind the lens was, but whoever it was (and please refrain from taking offense, because more than likely I do love you, since more than likely I am related to you) YOU SUCK (as a photographer)!

Case in point:

Upon downloading the recent holiday pictures onto my computer, and going through each shot to edit/flip/and-decide-if-it-is-worth-saving, I came across at least 50+ pictures of myself in slight (VERY slight) variations of this:

This being (yes I do realize that if you can read this text, then you can certainly see this picture for yourself - but humor me) me in a black coat and gray scarf, with a white walled backdrop.

Now you may be wondering what exactly is the big deal (besides the ridiculously goofy look on my face, which I think in and of itself says a lot about what exactly the big deal is!)? Well the answer is simply this: Why do I really want/need ANY pictures of myself....let along 50 pictures of myself...let alone 50 pictures of myself ALONE...let alone 50 pictures of myself, alone, and in the exact same outfit...let alone 50 pictures of myself, alone, and in the exact same outfit, at the same event...let alone 50 pictures of myself, alone, and in the exact same outfit, at the same event, not doing anything even remotely interesting...let alone (this is the last time I am going to repeat this bloomin sentence I promise) 50 pictures of myself, alone, and in the exact same outfit, at the same event, not doing anything even remotely interesting, AND WITH MY MOUTH FULL???????

Here I am talking....with my mouth full.

Here I am pointing...with my mouth full.

Here I am staring...with my mouth full.

And here I am laughing...with my mouth full!

Without any real evidence to speak of, and relying solely on my hunch-factor, I am going to accuse the following: Kimo and/or Isaac (and since both of you are blogless...I really have no fear of retribution should my accusations prove unwarranted).

If, whoever you are, you happen to be reading this: I do not believe a bunch of pictures of myself, looking pretty much the same in each picture, is an acceptable representation, catalogue, or depiction of any family gathering, social event, or even "I'm-bored-so-lets-take-some-random-pictures" moment. So if you want to use my camera - I expect some more creativity (or even the slightest attempt at it).

I'd like to end by saying a big FAT thank you to the person/s who created digital cameras...and the miracle "delete" option:
Thank You!

....

(I think I may have complained about this exact same thing before? On this exact same blog? - Yes, I think I have...after I fired Kimo for poor performance at Golden Gardens...hmmm I'm obviously not reaching people if I've been forced to become redundant:(

Well the holidays are over….

2009-01-03T12:30:00.000-08:00

Santa has come and gone.

The tree is....er...

...no longer!

And the fireworks....

actually went off!

And now we stand….

...looking to the year 2009 as it lies before us – with all its hope, change and socialist proclivities promising to make all our lives utter perfection – the coming of a modern day Eden, Heaven on Earth, Utopic America...nay Utopic WORLD - I can hardly wait!

Of course until that happens we still have to deal with the tenebrous realities of today’s economic woes, war, environmental deterioration, and a number of other afflictions facing our world, our country, and our individual lives. In light of these current day terrors I have decided to try to make a difference in my own little way…starting with the only responsible thing to do when faced with economic hardships: DOWNSIZING!

I believe downsizing is truly the only irreproachable solution when faced with hard times. This of course is in stark contrast with the current trends of demanding the State pay our mortgage, give us free (yet mediocre at best) health care, and in general make sure we feel absolutely no hardship or even the slightest inconvenience from the time we wake in our cradle to the moment we sleep in our grave.

I however, demand none of these things - and instead I choose to take responsibility for my own.

In this spirit I am going to start my downsizing effort immediately by cutting excessive New Year’s Resolutions! Yes this year I refuse to take more than my fair share – therefore I have limited myself to ONE resolution, and that resolution is...(drum roll):

I am going to post a blog EVERY SINGLE DAY in 2009!

(What? It is already the 3^rd? Well so much for that resolution!)

Uhhhhhhhh Jaime - December 8th is unacceptable!!!!! Get to Posting.

2008-12-28T15:22:00.001-08:00

In Preparation for his future Hockey Career

2008-12-25T23:49:00.000-08:00

I couldn't let one of Jack's first moments go unnoticed, and undocumented, for the sake of his Auntie Lianne:

Jackson's First Time On ICE!!!!

He was very excited in this pic because he was "doing it all by myself" - meaning with out the help of the kiddie "walker" (see next picture)

It had been quite a while since I had been on skates myself, so I have to admit I was a bit worried about the task before me: Managing to stay on my feet in order to keep my child upright (in general) and unharmed (in general)! Therefore, though it looked pretty ridiculous seeing a bunch of kids gliding around the rink with the help of what looked like old-people walking aides, I was pretty grateful for their assistance.

And Jack made it out unharmed, and anxious to go back...with a hockey stick!

In order to avoid an impending strike, I've taken a moment out of my busy schedule (of creative yet labor intensive avoidance) to post!

2008-11-30T21:22:00.000-08:00

Thanksgiving 2008

Child Labor at its best! Jackson is still a sweet kid who wants to help out around the house...so we put him to work in the kitchen this Thanksgiving.

Apparently our little trick to get the rolls to rise (turning up the heat sauna style) made the house a little unbearable for some, who chose to eat outside. Other than that it wasn't a bad meal....yes it was more traditional than I am comfortable with, but we figured our dear ole dad needed to win on SOMETHING this year, so we gave in to him.

Black Friday: We did NOT go shopping! (Nor did I/do I ever have such intentions), but we did crowd the streets with our fellow Seattlites to watch the annual lighting of the "Bon" Star (I mean Christmas Tree) at Westlake.

(I feel bad for the Christmas Tree...I mean any tree in comparison to the Bon Star would look small, but this tree looks like a slightly larger version of the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree)

It was actually pretty uneventful (I know you are all shocked) - though their sound system did go out during our group sing-along of "I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas," which resulted in 3 - 4 "count-downs" before they managed to light the tree.

Poor little Jack looked on in excited anticipation, but was sorely disappointed when the star was lit sans fireworks. He has since been extremely concerned about the current economic crisis and how it is being felt by the "folks" in his hometown (Seattle) - i.e. the great disappointment all must have surely felt due to the lack of fireworks this year - at least that is what I interpreted from his statement after-the-fact that, "They probably didn't have enough money to pay for the fireworks."

So in lieu of explosives we decided to sugar-him-up with hot chocolate, and put him on a fake horse for entertainment.

He was actually begging us to let him ride the carousel, and I otherwise wouldn't have even entertained the thought, THAT night at least (the streets were mobbed with people - many of whom were under-agers with similar nagging requests), but the whole Star/Tree lighting thing was so anticlimactic this year (especially compared to last year's show...and unfortunately Jackson has a fully developed long-term memory at this point, so: he noticed!) that even I was disappointed...so we gave in to the child, and waited in the ridiculously long line (which admittedly moved along at a pretty bearable pace) for less than two minutes of fun! (We were pleasantly surprised however, to find that they haven't (yet) jacked the "price-to-ride" too high - only $2.00 for Jack and parents are free - this really isn't a bad deal considering they certainly could have milked us for at least a 5-spot...after all it was the national spend-way-more-than-necessary-on-things-you-can't-possibly-need holiday!).

And one more thing: YOU'RE IT HEATH!

I have not been blogging much lately, which means either

2008-11-18T22:33:00.001-08:00

I have been leading an extremely slow and boring life (and therefore I have nothing to say), or I have been leading an extremely busy and exciting life (and therefore I am too busy to say anything at all). Hmmmm - which is it? NEITHER, instead:

I have been leading an extremely busy and boring life!

Hopefully there will be more to come very soon (lets be real here...no matter how boring my life may be, I will ALWAYS have something to say!)

If Jack was a girl...

(Yes, you are correct, the picture has absolutely NOTHING to do with this post, but I hate posts will no pictures - so there it is!)

Jackson's First C-Chord!

2008-11-03T22:35:00.001-08:00

As of late, Jackson has come to realize that randomly pounding on various piano keys produces a far different effect than when approaching the instrument in a more discriminating manner. Furthermore, he has decided he favors the latter-more prudent approach (I am assuming because it actually produces music...as opposed to ivory dissonance), so I think it is time that I start looking for a proper teacher - Does anyone have a good recommendation?

...Aaaaaand I'm Spent!

2008-10-24T22:49:00.000-07:00

I worked another 12-hour day today (5:30 to 5:30 today; 7:30 to 7:30 yesterday), and I kind of felt like Jaime - except that instead of doing this:

...I was stuck doing this:

2008-10-11T19:28:00.001-07:00

(Until Jaime Posts!!!)

Let 'em out of the kitchen, give 'em a ballot, and then they want to to be Veep! (please click on pictures for more info)

2008-10-02T17:16:00.000-07:00

I can't help but notice that things are really getting out of control (i.e. the audacity of Hillary Clinton, and then Sarah Palin) with regards to this whole notion of "women's rights" and "Gender Equality." I mean not only have we allowed American women to let their imaginations run wild with such notions (egalitarianism, voting rights, and the liberty to be in the presence on non-family-males....hmmm?, speaking of - I was in an elevator with a man today. I didn't plan it. It just happened. But I will be more careful in the future.), but now we are trying to spread these very same ideas of "freedoms" and "rights" to women all over the world (why can't we just leave those poor obedient Middle Eastern women alone?). Come on ladies. Were things really so bad back in the good-ole-days? Let us recall:

1) We had our very own special female 'Places'...

...such as the kitchen.

I know, I know we still have to eat, despite all our new "freedoms" (cough: distractions), so we do get some kitchen time, but it just isn't the same. Considering the crucial nature of the job we perform there, tending to life's most basic needs (3 squares-a-day) while looking sultry and seductive, we really should reevaluate our current priorities. "Women everywhere: RETURN TO THE KITCHEN!"

**After all, we shouldn't forget that the kitchen provides a unique opportunity to easily, and ever-so-subtly, draw attention to one of our most essential female qualities: fertility.

Back in the day we also had one of the most important responsibilities of civilized society all to ourselves: Cleaning of the house...while wearing lingerie (I mean who gets the chance to do that anymore?). These days we have to share that responsibility with the men in our lives (boo!).

Also, it used to be that treks into the wilderness meant virginal sun-dresses and innocent poses before breath-taking backdrops. Now its all hiking boots, earth tones, and patagonia (and just think: better shoes = less sprained ankles = far fewer Marianne moments).

But then one day someone decided we should have the "right" to go out into the big, bad, and scary world:

We found ourselves lost in big cities.

We also found ourselves (like the proverbial fish-out-of-water) struggling to adapt/survive in a foreign environment: the traditionally 'male' institutions of higher education. It wasn't so bad as long as we stuck to courses of study that are consistent with a woman's temperament, such as HomeEc, nursing, or library studies. But at times we found ourselves walking to class alone, sometimes even after dark, and I don't know why but things really started to get frightening....(especially when we would wear our uniforms out in public?).

...We were suddenly expected to go to work:

Again, as long as we took great care in selecting a profession that was "gender appropriate" (such as a secretary....

...maid...

...or a sexy-but-doesn't-know-it librarian) we still enjoyed significant levels of happiness and fulfillment. Unfortunately at some point in time we began to forget our feminine limitations. We carelessly chose unwise (and ambitious) professions to pursue...those of a more masculine-appropriate nature. And now we find ourselves...

...Trying to find happiness in a man's world - Where our fragile constitutions are not holding up to the pressures and demands that are beyond our feminine abilities,..we are becoming increasingly stressed-out or angry, unable to cope...and even altogether unkempt (gasp).

Heath We Miss You!

2008-09-19T23:35:00.001-07:00

Last week my little brother, and our family PM, bailed on us (left the country, took his leave, and moved on to greener pastures), and since he will be gone for the next 12 months, we decided to throw him a raging going away party:

This is a picture of above referenced rager: Full shot of Heath (in a familiar pose), my leg, Jack's toes, and 1/2 of Jaime's foot. I don't know where Kimo and my Dad were, but I assume it was somewhere near a news source. (Poor Heath, what a boring send off!)

He hadn't been gone long (less than 24 hours in fact), when we found ourselves heading to an evening Husky football game (evening games are the best), and really starting to miss him. Husky football just isn't the same without the distinguished PM Jordon/#1 Husky fan. And since I am pretty sure you miss us (read: Husky football) too (after all how fun can living in London/"I-am-so-jealous-of-you" really be?????), I thought I would post some Husky pics for you:

(Jack is annoyed at me...read on to find out why)

You will be happy to hear that we are starting to make friends with our neighbor season ticket holders. Like that dude behind Jack (see above pic)...he stayed with us till the bitter end! And he (and his group) screamed "fair-weather" with us at the lame people who left early.

There were actually some really funny moments despite the rather depressing game: like when the 'former' frat guys (you know those guys who take up the rows two back, half the row directly behind us, as well as the entire row in front of us...oh and that group two rows ahead of us, and to the left...OK pretty much our entire section) refused to sit down the entire first half of the game. They stood as a direct protest to a request, submitted by the few blue-hairs (excluding Dad) seated among us. You see right from the opening kick-off these blue hairs kindly requested (yelled), that these frat boys (FB) "SIT DOWN! We're trying to watch the game." The FBs, of course, responded in a spirit of cooperation (astonishment and disbelief), "We're not gonna sit-down! YOU stand-up! This is a football game! Show your team some SUPPORT!" (I have to admit the FBs really had a better case - who sits down at a football game?) At this point the blue-hairs yelled "we want to SEE the team we are here to support." To which the FBs apparently decided meant don't sit down EVER (even during time outs)...or at least for the entire first half. They were pretty much standing solely on grounds of principle (for it was not a pretty first half). It was a little awkward at times...Funny, but awkward.

It was also pretty amusing to watch 5 State Troopers try to pull one drunk Oklahoma fan out of the stands near us. As much as I would like to describe it I think you just had to be there (imagine one drunk man, 5 state troopers, and a really, really crowded & riled up stadium).

Oh, and one last thing: Every time (OK twice) we scored Jack somehow hurt, you guessed it, his head! I'm not really sure what happened for TD #1, but TD #2 was all my fault, and Jack wasn't afraid to point that fact out (he so over-dramatized it). We were all (those of us left) really excited our boys were still trying (they didn't give-up despite the score), and when they scored again I turned to high-five the guys behind us. It was at this point that I somehow pulled out a pretty sweet elbow drop (see the WWF)...on my child's head! I'm sure it hurt, and I felt really bad about the whole thing, but he cried FAR longer than was justified. (Ahh my sweet little thespian - following in my footsteps)

Husky Stadium: Do you miss it Heath? I would like you to know I intentionally cut off half the score board for you (after all this post is not intended to be a Debbie-Downer).

Oh and this is what you gave Jaime for her birthday.

(No birthday is complete without a little purple and gold)

Vote Hunter 2008!

2008-09-15T17:16:00.001-07:00

Last night Jackson decided to tell me a little story about how he is Wolverine (from X-Men), and how he will one day save the world...with the help of the knives in his hands (aka Wolverine's retractable claws). He then proceeded to carefully explain how the blades beneath his skin will "Shoot out like this," as he dramatically pantomimed the action (if you haven't seen X-Men, it looks kind of like he is flipping someone off - but with three birdies). He then acted out an elaborate fight scene, which ended with him "stabbing" me in the face with his pretend wolverine blades...(it sounds far more violent than it really was). At this point he looked at me straight in the eyes (arm extended out and pretend blades still embedded in my face), paused for just one dramatic moment, and then said with perfect clarity and a commanding tone ...

"And I approve this message."

A Ridiculously Long Post About Bus Rides and Animal Hair

2008-09-09T19:23:00.000-07:00

If I ever get the absurd idea into my head, at some point in the future (near or far), to welcome a furry little friend into my home, to live, please - please - please remind me of my bus ride this morning.

It started out quite pleasant actually:
- For one, the cute (gag) couple who typically spend the ride rotating between lovingly reading the same book; staring deep into each other's eyes; and showering each other with kisses (all of which seriously make me want to puke) were only half present (I don't know where 'she' was, but 'he' was far more bearable flying solo).
-There were actually quite a few free seats available, so it was a lot less likely I would have to have any sort of physical contact with other people, which always makes for a good bus trip.
- The perfume lady, who wears so much of it I start to get a headache at my open bus stop, wasn't present, so I could actually breath.
- The blue tool, who normally talks loudly and incessantly for the entire duration of the ride, was uncharacteristically quiet.
- The bus driver was calmer and less hostile towards the break/gas pedals, and I could actually stay seated without gripping the seats and bars for dear life.
- And on top of all of these already lucky circumstances, there wasn't any suspicious smell lurking about...Oh, and I didn't have to run down my hill (in 4" heals) almost missing the bus (and almost breaking my ankles), because I actually left the house on time today.

Ahh such a good start...then SHE got on the bus. I will refer to her as Animal Lady. When Animal Lady entered I didn't worry, for there were still ample seats available, upon which she could sit all in her own little space. So why couldn't she have done just that? Why couldn't she have given us all our space, and at the same time saved and enjoyed some space for herself? It would have been so pleasant...would have been that is, because she refused to do it. She refused to maintain our commuter paradise. Our Eden was lost, our cloud nine immediately dissipated, and our utopia was destroyed....or at least mine was, when she decided to sit right smack down next to me.

Yes I realize this is all very dramatic, but I don't care. What happened next has completely destroyed any sympathetic weak moment I may have had for furry kitties, doggies, or other domestic animals that Jackson could one day beg me for.

I have long been anti-household pet (besides the random cat I would be willing to feed as long as it lives outside and kills rats) because of the hair and the smell. Not that I think all pet owners have hair and odor problems, for I know many people who smell nothing like animal pee, and I have often left their various homes without a layer of pet hair lining my clothing. What concerns me, however, is the fact there are also many pet owners who have become desensitized to the hair and smell. You know the ones can't wear true black...unless they own a pet with black hair. The people who lend you a throw blanket, while you are watching a movie at their house, and they don't notice it smells like pet urine. I am terrified that after owning a little furry friend for long enough I could possibly come to love it, maybe even pet it , or let it sleep on the edge of my bed...and ultimately I could become one of those oblivious unable-to-see-the-hair-or-smell-the-pee animal owners. Yes hair and pee are the main two reasons I decided long ago to never, ever, please-be-strong-on-this-one-EVER own an indoor pet.

Unfortunately, every once in awhile I come across a dog that is really cute, often well behaved, and even at times looks impeccably groomed. Sometimes such an animal will cause that frozen heart in my chest to start to thaw a bit. As it invokes images of the all-American family, complete with the white picket fence and quadrupedal family members, I begin to wonder if maybe I could handle it after all. Thank goodness that whenever I start down this dangerous line of thinking something happens to help me come to my senses. And this is where I return to the bus ride, and the Animal Lady:

When we left A. Lady she had just had the audacity to sit next to me, despite many other extra seats, and she sat close enough that I had to ask her to get up (and off my jacket) before I could exit the bus. That alone was enough to drive me crazy (I realize this is a little OCD of me, but it gets worse), but a few minutes after she sat down I glimpsed something disturbing out of the corner of my eye. On my black sleeve there was something white and furry. At first it just looked like a little fuzz ball, and I didn't think anything of it. When I reached over to pull it off of my sleeve I noticed it was not just a little fuzz ball. No it was actually a thick layer of fuzz covering my entire arm...the arm touching the Ms. Animal Lady.

It didn't take long for the OCD to really set in. I immediately felt like I couldn't breath. My body was frozen. I couldn't move because I am pretty sure she saw me looking at the fur on my arm, and then look at her and see that her entire outfit (an otherwise very lovely ensemble) was COVERED in white animal fur. It would definitely be too rude to get up and move at that point, however I knew I wouldn't be able to handle it for much longer. I ended up getting off the bus 2 stops early, so I could breath some fresh air and brush the fur off my coat. This of course made me late to work, and I knew it would, but I didn't care. Upon exiting the bus I saw that it was not just my arm, but the entire left side of my black wool jacket. It isn't easy to just "wipe off' fur from wool, and once I realized this I booked it to work...running full speed (or as fast as heels would allow) with only one thing on my mind: scotch tape.

Once I arrived, despite being late, I set to work on my coat. It took an entire roll of scotch tape to remove all the hair from jacket, however I felt dirty the rest of the day. I sat next to this lady for less than 10 minutes, but I hope I will remember this forever...and never cohabitate with a pet.

Labor Day Hike

2008-09-03T21:31:00.001-07:00

To make up for a ridiculously lazy Sunday we decided we had to get out and move on Labor Day, so we headed east to Tiger Mountain.

Heath, Jaime, Dad, and Jack pose at the beginning of the trail (though not the beginning of our hike, since we parked so far away it was a hike just to get to this point).

At some point along the trail we came across a banana slug (you can't see it, but that is what Jack is pointing at). Heath told Jack that they are called banana slugs because they taste like bananas. He also told him to lick it and see if it is true (This may sound like a really weird and random thing to say, but it comes from a very traumatic banana-slug-licking event we all witnessed as children - and can't help but be reminded of every time we see a b-slug, so it totally makes sense in our family...not that that makes it any less weird, but certainly less random). Jack was skeptical - which is probably a good thing - and opted not to test the appropriateness of the name.

Not too long into the hike Jack decided he was tired, and he wanted to be carried (sometimes he thinks he is still a baby...a really large baby). This was coming from a child who runs, jumps, wiggles, and dances non-stop from sun-up to sun-down, therefore I didn't believe him in the least. However, he is quite a stubborn little thing, so we had to turn it into a competition. It was all about winning, so every time Jaime was ahead of him he would race full speed ahead to beat her (as in the picture above).

(Heath and Jaime on the way back down)

Is it just me, or does the way back always seem longer? Whether I am hiking, running, or otherwise travelling, the way home is always the longest part of the journey. This hike was no exception. Since we never really knew how much farther we had to go to get to the top (there are many distance markers on the trail, but they all have inconsistent distances on them, so we never really knew how close/far we were to the top until we were actually there) my timing was all off, and I couldn't gauge how long another mile would take etc,. On the way down, however, it felt significantly longer (as always) despite finally knowing exactly how far we had to go.

Jackson found a friend on the way down.

(This is Jack's "I-know-this-is-silly-but-I-am-playing-along-anyway" look)

About half-way down the hill, with probably 1.5 miles to go, Jack again insisted he was tired. We tried to distract him for awhile, but he was pretty adamant, and with 4.5 miles behind him already we figured he was probably legitimately tired this time. My kind father offered to carry him for me (thank goodness - that child is not light), and the kid ended up falling asleep on his head. How comfortable can that be...for either of them? Thank you Dad - you are an awesome Grandpa.

Finally we made it back to our car...a little tuckered out, but happy to have moved our lazy bodies a bit.

Domestic Guilt

2008-08-19T19:02:00.001-07:00

Every once in awhile I find myself feeling overly guilty for going to work each day, leaving Jackson to fend for himself (note to CPS: I'M JUST KIDDING), and spending the majority of my energy on things that don't really matter in the whole eternal scheme of things. In order to make myself feel better, I often find myself playing domestic (not an often practiced role mind you). For example:

I will bake.
*These Marshmallow cupcakes were trey bien, but soooo not worth the effort (way too time consuming, and the marshmallow had a mind of its own)!

Or, I garden
That is such a lie - I don't "garden" I just put some starter plants in a couple of pots and water them everyday....or most days...or at least weekly. Nevertheless, once those little TomToms start agrowin', I start afeelin' all warm and fuzzy and domestic-like.

I also sometimes take my neglected child to the park...
to play on death trap toys with happy names like "merry-go-rounds"

Or, I decide to break out the camera and be family photographer
Nothing like ruining a kid's fun-time-at-the-park by forcing him to stop and pose...all the while adding to the boxes, and boxes, and boxes, and memory cards, and discs, and computer space full of other pictures that I-will-never-really-scrapbook-so-why-do-I-pretend-like-I-will.

~

When I am really feeling bad, however, and the domestic dabbling just isn't providing the hoped for relief, I have to say to myself: "If I HAVE to work (and I do), and I HAVE to dress the part (which of course I do), why not enjoy it? AaaaaaaaND I DO (the dressing-the-part part anyhow), by...

...SHOPPING!!!!!!!!!!

My newest (and current favorite) pair of shoes, by Linea Paolo! Gotta love work "expenses" - If only I could write them off on my taxes

Colbert Interprets the Bible - One Book at a Time

2008-08-16T21:49:00.000-07:00

The Book of Job:

"Bad things happen to good people. GET OVER IT."

I must concur...Get over it you nation of whiners!!!!!

Husky Picture Day 2008

2008-08-11T21:32:00.000-07:00

What a lovely day to be on the most beautiful campus: UW Seattle

Here Jack and his Grandpappy pose, per my request, in front of Suzzallo. The reading room is my favorite place on campus, it has sort of an "Honors meets Harry Potter" feel. Gallagher (not pictured), the Law School library, is my second favorite place on campus...I sometimes go there and pretend (inside my head) that I am in law school (and I am a pretty convincing law student).

Ahhh Husky Stadium!

Jack was instructed to pay particular attention to the field, the players, the coaches etc., after all it is never to soon to start preparing for his future.

Pic of Uncle Heath, with Jack behind the lens. This is such a bittersweet pic...football season just won't be the same without Heath.

Coach Willingham - (The only line we stand in)
We can't help but like you, but we are nervous for you, so step up - we fully expect to be waiting in your line next year!

The Star:

We didn't actually wait in Locker's line, because it was so ridiculously long! Also I don't really care about autographs, and he is a little too near my age to be taking pictures with him...I don't exactly want to be mistaken for a Locker Groupie. We just took this pic as we were walking by (translate: My dad took this pic while Heath and I walked in the other direction).

Random Player:

I have no idea who this is, but he just looks so happy to be there! (He obviously bleed purple!)

Cookie Baking Turned Photo Shoot

2008-07-30T23:23:00.000-07:00

How sweet! Quality Auntie/Nephew/Cookie time...
...That quickly turned into Nephew photoshoot:

Kimo Was Fired...Due to Poor Job Performance

2008-07-30T22:34:00.001-07:00

It's sad, but true: Kimo has been officially fired, by me, as family photographer. Reason being...He sucks at it!

Case in point: Last Thursday evening we decided to have a little get-together at Golden Gardens to delight in some excellent company and conversation, and partake in delicious smores, while enjoying the warmth and ambience of a bonfire (OK - in reality the fire took place in a controlled fire-pit, but that doesn't sound nearly as cool as an actual bonfire)

(I love the beach at Sunset - especially on the West Coast)

(Seriously, how Trey Bien are Smores? They're a top fiver for sure! And how good does that Reeses Smore look? It is a must-try by summer's end.)

Ahh how easily I get distracted when images of food flash before my eyes! Anyways, back to the point of the post: Kimo was asked, by his adoring wife, to document the blessed event. I gave him the camera, and left him to it (with perfect faith I might add), and what did we end up with after nearly 4 hours of beach fun? 3 (three) count them 1 (one), 2 (two), 3 (three) pictures....TOTAL! And here they are:

Picture 1: Jack's Muli

Picture number 2: Cookin' of Smores by our ferocious "bonfire"

AAAAnd Picture #3: Me stuffing my face!

*Note: I am pretty sure Kimo didn't want the job in the first place (the fact I had to force the camera into his hands was my first clue), so don't feel too bad for him. Yes, his wife is pretty heartless for firing him (who am I kidding, pretty much heartless when it comes to many, many, MANY other things), but in this case I am sure he is happy to be relieved of photographer duty.

Seafair 2008 - 8k Run &Torchlight Parade

2008-07-28T17:43:00.001-07:00

This year the theme for the race was Pirate Adventure (although isn't Seafair always about Pirates?), and we decided to actually dress up this year (Heath was particularly into it).

This is post race, and we are "famished" from our long run (8k is technically shorter than most of our normal running routes, by miles, but since we were "racing" it felt like a full-on marathon...or at least I was eating like I had just finished one). Here we are in the Qwest Field parking lot filling up on the free oranges, bananas, bagels, Odwalla bars, and water.
I was 5 minutes slower this year compared to last, which would normally really annoy me, but....I chose school over running this year (meaning I haven't run for the past 7 months), therefore I was happy to actually finish the race.

Jaime and Gretchen and her little man watching the Parade.

I am not sure why I insist on taking self-portraits...it is never an overly flattering shot of myself...although Heath was far enough away that he looks good.

Jackson dancing in the street

And swording fighting in the mirror.

The Seafair Pirates.
Their cannons were so loud we all literally jumped, but surprisingly the baby slept through it.

What is a parade, or a blog, without a little purple and gold tribute: Harry the Husky and the UW marching band.

GO DAWGS!!!!!

Work Photo

2008-07-25T12:21:00.000-07:00

The Agency I work for has undergone some very dramatic changes recently (and many more are on the way), and my department has been uprooted from its former division, and we are now little orphans awaiting a new home. In the mean time, however, I have been working on revising all of our training/informational manuals (to reflect the departmental changes in staff, procedures, accounting numbers, etc ) as a little side job, and one of the biggest decisions I now have to make is:

Which picture should choose?

Picture A:

Here I am at my desk hard at work (made apparent by all the actual "work" in front of me). The picture of the pug dog hanging on my wall was a gift from my office mate...otherwise there is no way in Hades that I would hang a picture of a dog in my office - except maybe that this particular dog actually looks like a pig...which supports my belief that pugs should actually be called "pogs" because they look like pigs: "pig dogs" (I would just like to clarify one thing, the "I love" refers to the name "pogs..." it does not in fact refer to the actual animals....I am pretty cold-hearted when it comes to soft and furry species).

Or, Picture B:

Purple yoga mat, gold post-it, "W" fingers...hmm I think E-nuff said:

GO HUSKIES!!!

Picture Tag

2008-07-19T12:41:00.000-07:00

Instructions:
1. Go to http://www.flickr.com/( or images.google.com )

2. Type in your answer (or answers) to the question in the search box

3. Use your favorite image (or images) of the subject.
4. Copy the html and paste for the answer.

Town I Call Home:

Seattle, WA - According to recent polls* Seattle is the most livable, and coolest (as in rad) city to live in. (*note: I don't cite my sources when I make them up)

Favorite Hobby:

Reading (any and everything)

and Writing

(and then reading my writing...and laughing)

Favorite Vehicle:

Anything with Suicide Doors...

...or the city bus.

After all:
- It's cheap and convenient

- You never run out of gas or have to get gas (I am so lazy)
- There is a daily (and free) freak show for all to enjoy
- You "get to know" your neighbors as you see them interact with one another (as well as the various drunks that stumble on in the 'free-ride' zone), and overhear their "way-too-personal-to-be-having-them-in-a-public-place" conversations.
- You have some extra time to read, listen to music, and make mental notes not to ever invite/accept an invitation to get together with above referenced neighbors for events such as national holidays, or neighborhood block parties
- Those of us with major road rage can live vicariously through the bus drivers who regularly honk at, yell at, and cut off other drivers...all the while getting away with it b/c...well...the bus is bigger than everyone else on the road.
- And most importantly it is Green, as in "My carbon footprint is smaller than your carbon footprint"...therefore, it pleases my Green employer, my Green Mayor, and the many Green taxpayers of our great city (whom I will one day ask for their votes...so I should really start kissing up to now).

Dream Job:

President Of the USA

Guilty Pleasure:

Diet Dr. Pepper

Yum! I even like it hot...like when I drink one on the way to Church, but don't finish it by the time I arrive (since the drive is like .5 seconds), so I have to leave it in the car for 3 hours (that's right I go to church for 3 HOURS every week), during which time the sun (blazing down on my car) heats up the soda for a sweet, warm, post-church treat - for me. The best part is the warm carbonation, as opposed to actually heating up the soda on the stove or microwave, which releases all the CO2 (faster than the car method) and therefore all the bubbling fun. *It is also convenient that neither Kimo nor little Jack enjoy warm soda, so I don't have to share (and I don't have to feel guilty about it).

Favorite Restaurant:

Richard's Fine Dining (or Dick's Drive-in)

Rated in the following order based on location:

1) 45th St
2) Holman Rd
3) Queen Anne Ave
4) Broadway & Lake City tie

Favorite Flower(s):

Plumeria

(b/c they smell so sweet)

and any random Wild Flowers

(b/c they are just that: random and wild!)

Favorite Color:

Black

Favorite Vacation:

Rafting

(maybe not this particular "you're-gonna-die" river)

Or lounging

Can't Live Without:

Besides the obvious food, water, shelter, I would have to say gum.

Aaaaaaand lucky for me I work close enough to the Gum Wall, on Post Alley in Pike Place Market, that I never run out. After a nice lunch, and a short walk through the Market, I have a selection of gum (colors, flavors, and ages) to look forward to!

I tag the following:

- Heath, Jaime, Isaac/Allison, Kimo, Dad, Joe/Lisa, and (those of you who do not yet have a blog...get on it)

Camera Snobs

2008-07-18T05:55:00.000-07:00

What appears (to some) to be two little camera shy tots...

...are in actuality (to those who know them best) two BIG camera snobs!

I actually had to pay for this face shot, albeit I paid with fake money and edible goods, but it is the principle (not the cost) that irks me!

My Little Mom

2008-07-12T21:51:00.000-07:00

My mom is completely convinced that she is taller than I am....hmmmm?

If we didn't love you, we wouldn't disagree with every single thing you say.

2008-07-06T20:49:00.001-07:00

A typical evening with my family often (some might say "always") involves a good debate. It just so happens that my Dad is NEVER a passive observer, instead he is ALWAYS a most ardent participant. It isn't his fault really - it just so happens that every single word he utters must be challenged by at least one of his kids. Such was the case in the following fine evening:

As always, it usually starts out pretty innocuous: "Hey, did you hear the Supreme Court ruled that residents de Guantanamo have Constitutional rights...to a civilian trial..." An innocent subject of conversation for all to enjoy, and one that my dad just can't resist. He immediately begins to articulate his opinions, most eloquently and passionately, causing the conversation to become a very loud "exchange of ideas"... particularly when it involves some facet of American Politics such as: the Middle East, the bootless Congress, elections (both domestic and international...think Race, Gender, and Zimbabwe) or the Supreme Court. Very soon after he begins to speak one of his kids chimes in, usually to contradict what he just said, and alas the debate has begun. To be honest most of the time we are in agreement with our dad (he actually knows his stuff), but why preach to the choir when you can play devil's advocate? Therefore, our poor, picked on father can rarely discuss the news, make a statement, express an opinion, or even have an opionion for that matter, without his children conducting a full on inquisition - as in "an official investigation, characterized by lack of regard for individual rights (pretty much), prejudice on the part of the examiners (absolutely), and recklessly cruel punishments (without a doubt)."

This is my debate face.

Note: I may look serious, but more than likely I am merely arguing to argue...I may or may not believe what I am actually saying...Inside my head I am probably thinking: "Wow - he really knows his stuff... He is using "facts"...I actually have no idea what I am talking about...I am pretty full of it..." etc.

This is my dad REALLY getting into it...
*Notice Jaime to the left - she is no doubt making some sarcastic comment (which my dad always takes seriously when coming from her mouth) in order to egg him on, one of Jaime's most exercised and refined skills. Case in point:

Notice the "got hope?" Obama T-shirt...and notice Jaime's sweet smile? Yeah, Jaime is not exactly an Obama Girl...well at least not by choice (ahhh labor unions) yet she wears the shirt because...well...my father does not support him at all (at least as far as #44 goes) and she simply wants to antagonize him. She knows our father does not want to unduly influence his sweet (cough) innocent daughter, so he tries to be understanding and supportive of her political "opinions." All the while he is totally missing the point:

SHE IS ONLY MESSING WITH YOU DAD!!!!!

Then there is Heath. Of all the Pritchard children he may be the most skilled provocateur of our dear old dad - he is able incite the most dramatic of debates, all the while his delivery is perfectly calm, cool, and collected -He even fools me...and I am in on it!

Dad always takes the bait, getting even more riled...

...at which point I can no longer debate with a straight face (although I will continue to argue my point).
(Notice the red eyes...that must be indicative of something, hmmm?)

Just remember dad, if we didn't love you, and more importantly if we didn't respect you, we certainly would not waste our time forcing you to defend your every thought, idea, or opinion. Think of it as a complement....we actually want to hear more!

Crazy in Hawaii

2008-07-05T17:15:00.001-07:00

Loco #1: KimoShon

This is Kimo's new smile...he has decided to try his hardest to look crazy in every picture I take....(I tell him he doesn't need to try so hard -it comes rather naturally to him!)...

It doesn't help that Loco #2 (Russell) is there to encourage him.

Weirdos!!!!! Need I say more?

For Susan and Mikelle

2008-02-23T19:58:00.001-08:00

In response to two of the coolest (and most honest) people in the world I have decided to write a post as a mom instead of my usual politically obsessed, soapbox standing, social sermonizing:

This is my soon-to-be four year old son Jackson Kapono-Kaulike Kipeni Hunter!

I have to say that I am patently blessed to be able to spend a stretch of this mortal journey in the company of such an incredible little person.

Here are a few random pics of the child:

Jack in front of his future office building! Now this is not a reversion to my traditional political blogging, but....I just wanted to say that Jack is a politically aware little kid (I know that is shocking considering politics dominate all conversation and entertainment in my household), in fact he knows who all the major presidential candidates (and former candidates) are by face/name (this includes Romney, Giuliani, McCain, Huckster, H.Clinton, and Obama - He wants Romney for Pres, loves saying Obama's name, and has been heard singing the "Giuliani/Obama Girls" song) He REALLY wants Romney to win, but I have explained that 2008 is not going to be Romney's year:

- so Jack's second choice is Hillary Clinton:)

Ha Ha, the two are so ideologically similar after all!

My little Cowboy, who:

has a kid-crush on Carrie Underwood, and has much of her Some Hearts album memorized. His lucky Aunt Jaime seems to get all the fun questions like: "What's a "Louisville Slugger?" or "What's White Trash?" and my personal favorite "What's a bleach blond tramp?"

Jack can be a bit of a stinker at times, but like all kids he is an angel when he sleeps! This is Christmas Eve 2007.

Another sleeping pic from this summer when he and my Niece Kendle were locked out on our deck for about 2 hours (before I got home from work). Apparently Jack was tired so he laid down and fell right to sleep in the warm sun and on the soft wood. Kind of an odd one Jack.

Jack is a loyal UW fan (despite attempts by bad Duck fans named Bobby to undermine my indoctrination of the child) not that he really has a choice in the matter of course. He tells me all the time he is going to play "husky-wolf" football, and I sometimes catch him pretending he is Louis Rankin playing Husky Football in our living room...although I would much rather him be a Jake Locker (a bit more reliable than Louis, and don't QB's seem to fare better physically?).

This is Jack with his Uncle Heath and Aunt Jaime, and I am taking the picture. Jack was in a contrary mood that night, and we had just spent quite a bit of time chasing him down; getting him in the car; then in the seat; and finally forcing that doggone seat belt on his little squirmy body. He was certainly pleased with himself, as evidenced by that large, and mischievous smile.

Jackson loves books, and this gift Christmas morning was a cruel trick from his Aunt Jaime. Upon opening the book he seemed a bit confused as to why he got an "adult" book - with no pictures. Of course the book was more of a joke for my benefit, but he does ask that I read it to him every once in awhile.

And finally Jack LOVES to dance. At my little brother's wedding he was literally the only person who danced the entire reception...only stopping to run to our table to get a drink before returning to the dance floor. I like to call this one the "Lawnmower!"

A Public Spectacle.

2008-02-07T23:07:00.000-08:00

The Death Conundrum

People who support legalized abortion tend to oppose Capital Punishment,

and vice versa.

Live Free or Die!

2008-01-08T09:02:00.000-08:00

I have chosen to go against the grain (politically speaking) and let optimism guide my NH primary predictions this year. Polls seem to indicate John (old and boring) McCain will grab the Republican spot, and Barack (young and fun...but so am I - and that doesn't qualify me to be President of our Great Nation let alone the Leader of the Free World) Obama will win over the Democrats and most of the Indies. I however predict the following:

Democrat Winner: Hillary Clinton
Republican Winner: Mitt Romney

According to polls this is wishful thinking, but I like to think of it more as desperate thinking. Yes I desperately want these two to win because even more desperately I do not want the likes of:

*Inexperienced, wishful thinking, all about "change" but what kind of "change" Obama

*Socialist, but I secretly love capitalism b/c is affords me the opportunity to make millions by suing the proverbial pants off the capitalist suits (after all, in what self-respecting socialist society are you really allowed to make millions...and then KEEP IT?) John Edwards

*'Big on National Defense' - but doesn't believe a secure border has anything to do with it John McCain

*Believes Providence will 'vote' for him, but just in case Mike Huckabee

*And don't even get me started on "seriously flirts with 9/11- truthers" (think of the likes of Rosie O'Donnell) Ron Paul...(it literally scares me to think of a President Paul!)

To be number 44.

Now you may have noticed I didn't include Rudolph Giuliani - Well I hope you noticed, because nationally he is still the Republican front runner - and there is a very simple reason why I left him out: I kinda like Rudy-G...can't stand his wife...but I like America's Mayor - I am just not sure how much. Also, there is no way in Hades he can pull off a win in the Granite State, and I am not willing to completely suspend reality by predicting a Giuliani win, so I won't!

"A Gathering of Neighbors" in Iowa

2008-01-03T09:26:00.000-08:00

After a year of campaigning (well for Hillary almost 8 years...unless you count her time as the country's main Lady, in which case it is almost 16 years) for the number1 spot in the free world, the campaign is finally...beginning?! At least we are actually (and finally) in the applicable election year, and today the first State in the Union (Iowa) gets to choose her candidates. Yes the Iowa Caucus kicks off the 2008 Presidential Election Year today, and that is a big and exciting event...IN IOWA!

Being 'the first' is Iowa's only claim to fame (...after all you only hear about Iowa every 4 years), and fortune. (Trust me if the State wasn't making bank on the deal there is no way they would force its' people to do the caucus thing...in this day and age money is the only reason I can think of to force an electorate to have to show up in person - during a 2 hour period - make them debate their reasons for supporting one candidate over another - all the while pretending voters actually have reasons...or debatable reasons..."He's Hot" doesn't count though it may in deed be a subject of debate, etc)

To the rest of the country however, Iowa is nothing more than a media spectacle - an event which gets the candidates names out there for the general public hear, and then vaguely remember for their own primary.

Proof that Iowa doesn't matter:

*Iowa results have little to do with actual Presidential outcomes.

*The only 2 people to win both the Iowa Caucus and the Presidency are: Jimmy Carter in 1976, and W in 2000 (and Jimmy technically lost to the "uncommitted" slate that year)

*Iowa is a very small state (according to the US Census Bureau in 2006 Iowa's population was estimated at 2,982,085 out of the overall US population of 299,398,484)

*No one shows up to vote: Of the already small population maybe 10% actually show up to caucus!! For the last Presidential election (2004) only 122k Democrats and 108k Republicans participated out of the 2.2 million eligible voters in Iowa. The small number of voter turnout leads me (and most rational people) to believe these consist mostly of activist voters (as oppposed to average voters who make up the real electorate) - think Religious Zealots and Moveon.org!

*How accurate can a non-secret ballot be? Participants have to publicly state their opinion and vote (hello peer pressure!)

*The caucus lasts a few short hours in the evening, so if you work swing shift, can't find a babysitter, or you are sick you can't vote because you have to be there in person (you have to be there on time and cannot leave until it is finished...who has time for that? I vote in the morning before work, after work, between dinner and a movie, or while out jogging); absentee voting a NO-NO (too bad soldiers - thanks for fighting for our right to vote - too bad you weren't here so you could do it too!)

*The Rules: It is not a simple popular vote - in fact each precinct could be weighed differently due to its past voting record; ties can be resolved by PICKING A NAME OUT OF A HAT! OR A COIN TOSS?!?!

ARE COIN TOSSES REALLY PART OF THE DEMOCRATIC PROCESS?

Apparently in Iowa they are!

I could go on, but really? What further proof need I provide beyond the coin toss/pick it from a hat example? However, I would like to take a moment (despite the general insignificance of the event) to make my Iowa predictions for 2008 (for fun):

#1 Obama - Hillary and John pretty much tie for #2

#1 Romney - with Huckster as a CLOSE/CLOSE #2

*Although a #1 Huckabee might not be a bad thing...it will freak the Republican electorate out and get them moving in states that actually COUNT!

Christmas Cookie Makin'/Pagan Pleasin'

2007-12-21T18:53:00.000-08:00

For any of you who do not know me very well I am REALLY into being PC around the 'Holidays'...Yes, I LOVE 'Holiday' PC'ness! I love 'Holiday' Trees, and 'Winter' Decorations, in lieu of "Merry Christmas" I prefer "Merry Gift Giving Holiday," and I TOTALLY interpret the Establishment clause of the Constitution (some like to 'call' it the "Separation of Church and State" clause) to actually mean the "We are supposed to pretend Religion doesn't exist so we do not offend any conceivable minority" clause. After all, if we are not careful (or PC enough) Christmas can really prove to be an offensive holiday.

"Goodwill towards men" ahhhh hello sexist!
"Merry Christmas" Saying Christ around CHRISTmas is so inappropriate
"Santa Clause" Shady fat man who brings gifts to children for being (gasp) good

This whole holiday could really get out of hand with all this peace on earth, singing of carols, giving of gifts, support of obesity... bells a jingling, food a cooking, and lights a sparkling (don't even get me started on all that energy waste). I am just thankful we have the pagans, atheists, and secular progressives to protect us from our history, our traditions, and the big bad MAJORITY.

On this note of PCness and "the majority of the people don't matter" mentality, I am happy to report that I won't be offending anyone (except maybe myself, no doubt my dad, Bill O'Reilly, John "gibby" Gibson, and probably that 70+% of the population who consider themselves Christian) this year...at least in regards to my baking of Christmas (err holiday) cookies - because instead of baking and decorating little baby Jesus cookies (as I was totally planning on doing) I opted instead to go with winter solstice approved Snowflakes.

Snowflake Cookies

I was careful to make sure the color wasn't green, or red

I refused to be jolly as I decorated them.

While sampling the product I fought to suppress all yuletide memories brought on by the flavors and smells. (Bing Crosby: out! The smell of pine: Forgotten. The giving of gifts: what for? Jingle bells: never heard of them.)

And then I was done - perfect for pagan, winter-solstice celebratin', non-Christmas Christmas cookies.

Close Up!

Oh and then I put them in a box, with pictures of Santa with all his tiny reindeer. I added little candy Christmas presents, and then wrapped the box with "For unto us is borne..." wrapping paper. To the box I attached a card, and in it I quoted Isaiah:

"For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given: and the government shall be upon his shoulder: and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counsellor, The mighty God, the everlasting Father, the Prince of Peace.

And then I placed it under the Christmas tree.

Family Husky Picture

2007-12-17T21:59:00.000-08:00

The fam decided to get together for some yuletide festivities this weekend, and since we are never all together (we weren't all together this time either, but it was about as close as it was ever going to get) we decided to get a group picture. Instead of everyone wearing red or green (or some other overly obnoxious and more than likely cheesy theme) we knew we couldn't go wrong with purple and gold, Ws, and dawgs! Yes that is right Husky Family Pictures!

Unfortunately, the batteries were dead in one of my cameras, and the flash was out in the other, so I was pretty disappointed with the results (especially since everyone was actually looking the right direction, all eyes were opened, Jack condescended to join us, and no one looked overly weird) because it turned out so BLURRY AND GRAINY. Annoying - especially since it looked perfectly clear on the little 1"x 1" screen on my camera!

Other than the grain and blur it really would be a cute pic, but no! It will instead only serve as my excuse to get a new camera (and as happy as that will one day make me, it will not make this picture any clearer today:( A-nnoying)

This ONE (literally the one and only) actually turned out pretty well. These are my beautiful neices Felicia (left - she is actually wearing my three year old Jackson's sweatshirt because he refused to wear it), and Kendle (right) is looking pretty tough in everybody's favorite Jake Locker's number 10!

This is Jack at a more cooperative time, a time when he willingly wore his Husky sweatshirt. And that little doll next to him is his sweet cousin Baby Kaleigh (daughter of Auntie Allison and Uncle Ick!)

Jack gets to go to work with his Aunt Jaime

2007-12-17T20:07:00.000-08:00

Jackson was a lucky little muli this week because he got to go on a "real" helicopter and airplane (he has actually been on many airplanes, but never like this). My sister Jaime (a RN who works for a Seattle air/medical transport company) had to stop by her work one day (while she was so generously watching Jack for us) and was able to show him around the place. I hear the pilots were pretty awesome about letting him sit in the cockpit, wear their helmets, push the buttons, and ask a million questions. Apparently he was only interested in the cockpit, and after taking his seat, adjusting his helmet and visor, and buckling his seat belt, he was quite literally ready to fly the aircraft. Jack was truly ELATED (understatement), and has since decided he is going to be a pilot when he grows up (after he plays Husky Football of course). Here are a few pics:

Jack really wants everyone at "Anonymous Airlift Company" to know how much fun he had, (especially to anyone who may or may not be from Boston), and he wants to thank you all for providing such a fun experience for him! And I want to thank the kind photographer for taking these cute pics. SO THANK YOU ALL!

Two Polys in the Snow!

2007-12-04T20:35:00.000-08:00

They were like kids, giddy with excitement the night it snowed!

They gave him life, and then they...

took it away!

Sledding Frosty style.

Jack thinks Uncle Russ is pretty cool, but we know better:)

Mathematically Speaking, You Just Don't Have a Chance!

2007-11-20T11:26:00.001-08:00

I am a pretty big fan of Socrates, specifically his Socratic Method of inquiry. You know:

* The asking of questions
* The answering of said questions
* The defense of one point-of-view vs. another point of view
* Winning when one side contradicts themselves, which in some way proves the inquirer's point.

This method of hypotheses elimination works on the theory that better hypotheses are found by steadily identifying and eliminating those which lead to contradictions. Socrates used this method to bring about truth, and to get to the very foundations of his students’ and contemporaries’ views. By continually asking questions, until a contradiction is exposed, he believed would inevitably prove the fallacy of an initial assumption.

One could argue the Socratic Method would be an effective tool to bring about truth, or at least a fallacy or two, in our upcoming 2008 Presidential Election. The Presidential Debates may be the perfect platform to practice the Socratic Method of inquiry, for the necessary components are already in place:

One: You have an inquirer, the moderator, to ask “tough” (do not refer to current standards) questions.

Two: The Candidates answer (this one may be tricky for the whole point really would be to answer the actual questions…as opposed to answering a question that may have been asked by someone, somewhere, at some point in time - and not necessarily the question asked at that time. *See current “answering” trends used by most political candidates of our day) these tough (again “tough questions" may need to be revised to actually be “tough” as in difficult, arduous, demanding, hard, rigorous, laborious, “can’t simply memorize a generic answer,” taxing, tiring, toilsome, TOUGH!) questions.

Three: Contradictions will indubitably arise, and this is where the debate begins, their respective foundations are revealed (cracks and all), and theoretically the best candidate will be revealed when the contradictions of the inferior candidates are identified and eliminated.

Now I believe Socrates usually engaged in this intense questioning process on a one-on-one basis (hence the reason many bright, capable students are terrified of law school) but the debates would really cease to be “debates” with only one candidate and one “mediator” (the term itself would no longer be appropriate). However, I do believe with fewer participants a greater amount of ‘truth’ would be discovered. I often find myself on the right (as in correct) side of a conflict, in this case: those who believe any and all candidates who wish to participate should vs. those who are realistic (astute, have common sense, are level-headed, practical, pragmatic, RATIONAL, smart, living-in-the-real-world, sensible, sober, sound, SANE!) and believe it is more important to hear from those who actual have a chance in God’s green (although it can convincingly be argued the saying should be blue) earth to win. And according to the Commission on Presidential Debates I am right! The Commission recently released the details (times, places, formats) of the upcoming 2008 Presidential (and Veep) Debates, and according to the nonpartisan criteria for selecting candidates to participate in the ’08 gen/el, a candidate must:

1: Satisfy Constitutional eligibility requirement (pretty much a given),

2: Must have his or her name appear on enough state ballots to have at least a mathematical chance of securing an Electoral College majority in the 2008 general election, and

3: Have a level of support of at least 15% (fifteen) of the national electorate as determined by 5 (five) selected national opinion polling organizations, using the average of those organization’s most recent publicly-reported results.

I would not have said it as harshly as the commission's: “Sorry you don’t have a mathematical chance of winning, so you don't get to debate.” Instead I would sugar coat it like: “Find another platform. You’re not going to win. Stop wasting our time. You don't matter. We have some questions that need answering by the people who could actually win this thing.” – Seriously though, I completely believe that the exchanging of ideas is important, and I have no problem with a 3rd candidate if they actually had a chance to win…a mathematical chance of winning. At this point in time, however, that just isn't the case, and I believe it is more important to focus on the real contenders. They should be grilled, they should be forced to answer real (as in tough) questions so we can get a better idea of their views, ideas, polices, and plans for our country. Not everyone studies this stuff for a living. Not everyone has the time (or even interest) to study this stuff for fun. But this is important and the information we do get should be as concentrated, and applicable as possible. If you can't win you run the risk of being a distraction, a nuisance, and a waste of the busy electorates' time. (you have your chance in the Primaries) So for all the:

Ralph Naders (sorry man I really liked you, but then I grew up, woke up, and left college)

Ross Perots (though we loved your charts, I believe those are also nixed for the debates), and

Ron Pauls (I don’t care what you say, you ARE a 3rd party candidate, I'm just not sure what party that is, but a 3rd party none-the-less),

sorry guys you don't get to debate,

"YOU DON'T HAVE A MATHEMATICAL CHANCE!"

If George W. lied, What did W. Jefferson do?

2007-11-14T19:18:00.000-08:00

Question: What do...

*Bill Clinton (needs no introductions)

*Ted Kennedy (US Senator from Massachusetts, D -obviously- living too long to be a real Kennedy...probably the milkman's baby)

*John Kerry (The US Senator with 3 hearts)

*Tom Daschle (Former US Senator from S.Dakota and former Senate Majority Leader)

*Sandy "The Pants" Berger (Clinton National Security Advisor - and sock stuffer)

*Hillary Clinton (Quite possibly the soon-to-be first Woman to hold the highest rank in the land

*Nancy Pelosi (First Woman Speaker of the House, Highest current ranking woman in our Government's history... and 3rd in line should W and Cheney kick-it)

*Madeline Albright (Secretary of State under W. J. Clinton; first Woman to hold the position)

*Al Gore (Former Veep and Oscar/Nobel winning mis-informer)

*John Edwards (Presidential Hopeful, lover of socialism, and not afraid to invest in a good haircut)

*Ariel Sharon (Former Israeli PM)

*Tony (W.) Blair (Former British PM)

*Jacques Chirac (Former French President)

and

*Patty Murray (The D-in tennis shoes- from Washington State)

(and many more I really do not have time to get into...since this is already taking far too much time)

...all have in common with President George W. Bush?

there were

weapons

mass

destruction

(plural)

WMDs in Iraq!

So why exactly is Bush the only Liar? If the former White House, Britain, France, Israel etc, and even the Dems believed there were WMDs in Iraq why is Bush (and his cohort Cheney...or is it the other way around? I can hardly keep up these days) the only one with blood on his hands?

Besides of course that "Code (for crazy) Pink" lady (or was she trying to ever- so-subtly imply something about Condi...)!

Oh how quickly we forget the words of our humble public servants. Oh how quickly we forget our own words (don't pretend you didn't support the war; don't pretend you somehow had more foresight or knowledge than Bush; don't pretend you really believe Saddam brought peace to the region; don't pretend Saddam wasn't in fact stealing billions in "oil-for-food" money, killing his political opponents -and his people; plotting against his neighbors - and US; and DO NOT for ONE SECOND forget that SADDAM HIMSELF WANTED AND WORKED TO ENSURE THE MIDDLE EAST, THE UNITED STATES, THE ENTIRE WORLD BELIEVED HE HAD WMDs)

Let us not forget now what they said then:

*“If Saddam rejects peace and we have to use force, our purpose is clear. We want to seriously diminish the threat posed by Iraq’s weapons of mass destruction program.”–President Bill Clinton, Feb. 17, 1998

*“Earlier today, I ordered America’s armed forces to strike military and security targets in Iraq. They are joined by British forces. Their mission is to attack Iraq’s nuclear, chemical and biological weapons programs and its military capacity to threaten its neighbors” - President William Jefferson Clinton 12/16/98

“Iraq is a long way from [here], but what happens there matters a great deal here. For the risks that the leaders of a rogue state will use nuclear, chemical or biological weapons against us or our allies is the greatest security threat we face.”–Sec. of State Madeline Albright, Feb 18, 1998

“[W]e urge you, after consulting with Congress, and consistent with the U.S. Constitution and laws, to take necessary actions (including, if appropriate, air and missile strikes on suspect Iraqi sites) to respond effectively to the threat posed by Iraq’s refusal to end its weapons of mass destruction programs.”Letter to President Clinton, signed by:– Democratic Senators Carl Levin, Tom Daschle, John Kerry, and others, Oct. 9, 1998

“I will be voting to give the President of the United States the authority to use force — if necessary — to disarm Saddam Hussein because I believe that a deadly arsenal of weapons of mass destruction in his hands is a real and grave threat to our security.”– Sen. John F. Kerry (D, MA), Oct. 9, 2002

“Without question, we need to disarm Saddam Hussein. He is a brutal, murderous dictator, leading an oppressive regime … He presents a particularly grievous threat because he is so consistently prone to miscalculation … And now he is miscalculating America’s response to his continued deceit and his consistent grasp for weapons of mass destruction … So the threat of Saddam Hussein with weapons of mass destruction is real…”– Sen. John F. Kerry (D, MA), Jan. 23. 2003

“He will use those weapons of mass destruction again, as he has ten times since 1983.”–Sandy Berger, Clinton National Security Adviser, Feb, 18, 1998

"As a member of the House Intelligence Committee, I am keenly aware that the proliferation of chemical and biological weapons is an issue of grave importance to all nations. Saddam Hussein has been engaged in the development of weapons of mass destruction technology which is a threat to countries in the region and he has made a mockery of the weapons inspection process." -- Nancy Pelosi, December 16, 1998

"We know that he has stored secret supplies of biological and chemical weapons throughout his country.”– Al Gore, Sept. 23, 2002
“Iraq’s search for weapons of mass destruction has proven impossible to deter and we should assume that it will continue for as long as Saddam is in power.”– Al Gore, Sept. 23, 2002

“In the four years since the inspectors left, intelligence reports show that Saddam Hussein has worked to rebuild his chemical and biological weapons stock, his missile delivery capability, and his nuclear program. He has also given aid, comfort, and sanctuary to terrorists, including al Qaeda members … It is clear, however, that if left unchecked, Saddam Hussein will continue to increase his capacity to wage biological and chemical warfare, and will keep trying to develop nuclear weapons.”– Sen. Hillary Clinton (D, NY), Oct 10, 2002

(Look at that hair - he should be a Breck Girl)

"Saddam Hussein's regime represents a grave threat to America and our allies, including our vital ally, Israel. For more than two decades, Saddam Hussein has sought weapons of mass destruction through every available means. We know that he has chemical and biological weapons. He has already used them against his neighbors and his own people, and is trying to build more. We know that he is doing everything he can to build nuclear weapons, and we know that each day he gets closer to achieving that goal." -- John Edwards, Oct 10, 2002

"The debate over Iraq is not about politics. It is about national security. It should be clear that our national security requires Congress to send a clear message to Iraq and the world: America is united in its determination to eliminate forever the threat of Iraq's weapons of mass destruction." -- John Edwards, Oct 10, 2002

“We have known for many years that Saddam Hussein is seeking and developing weapons of mass destruction.”– Sen. Ted Kennedy (D, MA), Sept. 27, 2002

"Over the years, Iraq has worked to develop nuclear, chemical and biological weapons. During 1991 - 1994, despite Iraq's denials, U.N. inspectors discovered and dismantled a large network of nuclear facilities that Iraq was using to develop nuclear weapons. Various reports indicate that Iraq is still actively pursuing nuclear weapons capability. There is no reason to think otherwise. Beyond nuclear weapons, Iraq has actively pursued biological and chemical weapons.U.N. inspectors have said that Iraq's claims about biological weapons is neither credible nor verifiable. In 1986, Iraq used chemical weapons against Iran, and later, against its own Kurdish population. While weapons inspections have been successful in the past, there have been no inspections since the end of 1998. There can be no doubt that Iraq has continued to pursue its goal of obtaining weapons of mass destruction." -- Patty Murray, October 9, 2002

"What is at stake is how to answer the potential threat Iraq represents with the risk of proliferation of WMD. Baghdad's regime did use such weapons in the past. Today, a number of evidences may lead to think that, over the past four years, in the absence of international inspectors, this country has continued armament programs." -- Jacques Chirac, October 16, 2002

(Do I really need to include a quote here? This is kind of a given)

(Again is a quote really needed? Yet another given.)

Why could they believe it -and say it- first without breaking the 9th, but when Bush believed it -and said it- he not only committed the sin, but was and is still publically condemned?

No, no...You are right. I am sure he lied, sent 100s of 1000s of US troops to Iraq, spent obscene amounts of money, and risked US and Iraqi lives, just for the fun to come when he failed to discover any WMDs in front of the entire world (including the American electorate).

COME ON PEOPLE GIVE ME A BREAK, that is absurd, ludicrous, preposterous, a bunch of tomfoolery, ridiculous, illogical, idiotic, laughable -I laugh at you -, opposit of rational, you need to sober up, you are stupid, you are not the sharpest tool...but you are in fact a tool.

No, Bush didn't lie, but there was bad information somewhere (actually everywhere)...and that is the real issue...and that goes farther back than Bush's tenure as President)

And then there is "Mid-life-crisis" Putin, and Jiang Zemen. They didn't quite believe it, yet they didn't quite not believe it either - so they encourged more UN inspections citing evidence as "impressive" but not altogether "convincing" in other words "We hate agreeing with the US, or making things in any way easy for the US."

To Change a Lightbulb:

2007-11-01T18:31:00.000-07:00

How many Republicans does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to change the bulb, one to call the media and publicize it, and one to blame the electric bill on the Democrats.

How many Democrats does it take to change a light bulb?

That light bulb's never getting changed.

The French, its' manicures, and their reverse

2007-10-29T21:14:00.000-07:00

The french get almost everything right - (unless of course it requires a backbone) from food and wine, clothes and accessories, to art, literature, language, and amour the french pretty much get it.

"Dance" - Henri Matisse (One of my favorite french artists, and there is no shortage of french artists to choose from)

Escargot: the famous french appetizer, usually served on "festive" occasions! (Yes, I chose to show the little guy before he met his death for the obvious and penetrable shock value of the image. I did this with the hope that it will induce rage and spark action to be taken by PETA members everywhere. I call on you all to stand up for "human" rights for snails worldwide)

Romance, falling-in-love, kissing, love affairs, passion, affairs, pouty lips, wandering eyes - French Amour!

Ahh, The Eiffel Tower: Meg Ryan overcame her fear of flying for it (or was that for a guy?) and Tom Cruise felt it a worthy perch upon which to propose to his "kitten's mama!"

French Literature - definitely a personal favorite.

Even where they almost always fail (i.e. political leadership, development of backbones, courage...unless you are referring to fashion...) they have as of late provided hope. Case in point:

President Sarkozy (don't be fooled by the whole "he's french" thing - this guy actually likes America and therefore deserves his place among the many French virtues to be admired in this post) Although he does oppose the war in Iraq (lets be honest here - if he didn't he wouldn't be President of France), he adores everything else American (that is so nice to hear for a change...AND HE IS FRENCH!): our movies, work ethic, music (Elvis Presley of course), and even our world policies - from Iran to Israel to the War on Terror (Besides that whole Iraq thing). His own people have dubbed him "Sarko the American." When asked about this by reporters he openly explains his nickname telling reporters its, "Cause I love America. I want to be friend of America." (60 Minutes interview with Lesley Stahl) He even mentioned this love for America in his acceptance speech the night he was elected President. He told Stahl he wanted to let the French people know that rebuilding strong, good, friendly relations with the United States was important to him and to France. (I still can't believe I am talking about a French President here!

And most importantly ( it's perspective time now) french beauty and fashion. Of course as a general rule they are unapologetic (and often proud) snobs about fashion & beauty (and that whole language thing), but there is no denying they are individually and as a whole quite the veritable trendsetters of the free world. This is indisputable and nothing more needs to be said. PERIOD.

Of course I like to talk, and the whole point of this post has not yet been touched on, so I had better get to it.

The French manicure, originating in Paris during the 18th century, is to this day the most popular manicure comprising 90% of manicures done in both US and EU salons in 2006. Regardless of the fact that I totally made up this statistic, it is at least 'empirically obvious' that the French-Mani has been, is, and will continue to survive the test of time...fashion time none-the-less. Not only has this trend proven to be an indelible fashion staple, but it has also proven to be quite popular in a variation of colors, shapes, and designs. In fact, I have recently become a fan of the not-so-traditional reverse french-mani myself.

The Reverse-French Manicure (we're reversing the moons and tips here ladies)

I decided to paint my nails black for the Holiday, and instead of making it easy on myself by just painting my nails, I instead chose to free-hand a reverse french-manicure. It wasn't easy, seeking perfection never is, but I think it turned out really cute (keep your distance though - just because I seek perfection doesn't mean I actually attain it). Yes this is the "whole point" I referred to earlier...

I realize it is near impossible to see, especially since my moons are a lot smaller than those professionally done in the picture above, so here is a thumb close up...

I like the smaller moons better.

I like the reverse at least as much as the traditional French-mani because it allows for the use of a more diverse color palate than the traditional can boast. Also, I find I enjoy the monotony of my job so much more looking at my cute (and festive) manicure as I typedy-type type for 8+ hours a day. Type type type....you'd think I wouldn't touch a computer once I left work, but alas here I am.

Little Gorilla Little Monkey

2007-10-29T20:46:00.000-07:00

Tatu (with Momma Kijivu 2007)

Jackson (Halloween 2005)

Confessions of a reformed liberal:

2007-10-26T10:06:00.000-07:00

1) I LOVE WILLIAM JEFFERSON CLINTON

To quote an American cinematic classic he “could sell a ketchup Popsicle to a woman in white gloves,” and for better or worse he certainly sold me. Now there are many reasons to love Bill Clinton for both the left and the right...

...Like that Southern charm he developed while growing-up in Arkansas,

Or that he is "Rollingstone cool"...

...but today I would like to share one reason we can all love Bill Clinton… one reason all AMERICANS can love Bill Clinton:

As reported by the Associated Press Clinton, for the second time in recent months, was interrupted by 9/11 “Truthers” - this time during an appearance at the State Theater in downtown Minneapolis. He delivered a 50 minute speech as part of Hillary Clinton’s presidential campaign, and was interrupted by several hecklers in the audience who shouted that the 2001 terrorist attacks were a fraud.

This is why we should love Bill…instead of ignoring them (as many others who have been subjected to similar obstinate crackpots were forced to do - or were forced off the stage all together) Clinton “seemed to relish a direct confrontation. He responded:

“A fraud? NO, it wasn’t a fraud,” at which point most of the crowd cheered him on. “I’ll be glad to talk to you if you SHUT UP and let me talk.”

At this point a heckler yelled another “9/11 was an inside job” claim to which I was very proud to hear the 'mostly-liberal' Clinton say: “An inside job? HOW DARE YOU. How dare you. It was not an inside job. You guys have to be careful, you’re going to give Minnesota a bad reputation.”

After hearing this I feel I can take comfort in America's future (and the very real possibility that Hillary may win in 2008) knowing that it won't be President Hillary Clinton that wins the White house...

...it will be President Billary Clinton.

(By the way: Happy Birthday Mrs. Rodham Clinton...This is at her 60th birthday celebration...She does not look 60!)

Blogorrhea and the Urban Dictionary

2007-10-23T09:01:00.000-07:00

A few guilty pleasures and Slacktivities:

Yes I am a "crossword-doing" nerd!

Husky Games!

Hmmm....Never:)

Ipod: The Running/walking/avoiding bus conversations/avoiding 'casual' work conversations miracle companion.

Texting and Talking

Reading and Ridiculing

Celebrity Gossip - I admit it.

I could waste days - I could waste weeks - months even - doing nothing but reading...with maybe a meal here and there.

I am never not on the computer!

While I almost never watch TV at normal hours - thanks to DVR I can spend an entire day (or more likely night) every now and then to catch up.

I love to blog, and the only reason I don't have more entries posted (I do have tons saved that I am still working on) is I get too distracted with the millions of other slacktivites I enjoy!

Myspace: The miracle site that allows me (as a socially lazy person with the best of intentions) to keep in-touch with friends...while actually exerting very little effort!

Jack and I multislacking

One of my favorite multislacking (Doing multiple slacker-esque things concurrently) activities or as I like to call them 'Slacktivities' (besides listening to talk radio all day, texting, checking my * email * myspace * blog * friends' blogs * voicemail, and: writing and/or reading * books * gossip magazines * books * gossip websites * books * the Wall Street Journal * books * the Seattle Times, and: watching * youtube * Friends * House * The Office * pointless debates * the lying media * the somewhat truthful media etc) is looking up pointless - and sometimes not so pointless - information on my favorite web-sites.

Today I would like to highlight one of my favorite, and most oft visited slacker sites: urbandictionary.com. If you haven't visited the site it is exactly as the name implies! Here are some of my recent favorites:

1) Backseat Buyer: A person who gets excited over other people's future or current purchases. Usually an enthusiastic shopper for themselves as well. Can also be used as an adjective and verb.

2) Butt Dial: When your cell phone (while on your person) accidentally calls someone you did not mean to. Example - "You called last night but when I answered no one was there?" "Oh, I'm sorry I must have Butt Dialed you."

3) Remasculate: The opposite of emasculate. To grow one's balls back after they have been shrunken by an especially effeminate activity. Example - "The girlfriend dragged me to go see License to Wed... it was terrible. I had to remasculate afterwards by watching Die Hard: The Bloody Retribution."

4) Pregret: The feeling of regretting something you're about to do anyway. Example - "Every Friday night, I pregret that I will go to the club. I know I will stand there like an idiot, or dance like an idiot...either way I won't be getting any numbers."

5) Myspy: When you use myspace to spy on ex-boyfriends, ex-girlfriends, ex-friends or even your ex-boyfriend's ex-girlfriend's ex-boyfriend's baby momma. Example - "My boyfriend caught me myspying on my ex-boyfriend's ex-girlfriend."

6) Kodak Courage: An extra dose of courage and the tendency to go beyond one's usual physical limits when being filmed or photographed (from action sports such as skateboarding, snowboarding, and extreme skiing). Example - "I was a bit nervous being the first to hit the jump, but when you're with the film crew you get that Kodak courage."

7) Nonpology: An insincere apology or expression of regret, often blaming the aggrieved party for being offended or bringing up an irrelevant topic to distract. Example - "I really get tired of politicians' nonpologies. All they're really saying is they're sorry they got caught."

8) Testosterphone: (Verb) To make a quick and to-the-point phone call that lasts under 30 seconds. "Let me testosterphone James, it will only take a second!"

9) Couching Distance: The distance one can reach without leaving the couch or sofa. That job is too far; it's not within couching distance. "I can't reach the remote control because it's not in couching distance."

10) Bluetool: A person who wears a bluetooth wireless earpiece everywhere they go to seem trendy and important. Places to spot bluetools include movie theaters, malls, restaurants, gyms, grocery stores and cars. Bluetool: "Heyyy, how are you?" Megan: "I'm great, and yourself?" Bluetool: "Oh, sorry Megan. I wasn't talking to you, I'm on a call - Bluetooth."

11) Truthenize: 1. To brilliantly inform someone of a harsh truth that they were either ignorant of, or tried with everything they have to ignore. The resulting truth leaves the liar impotent. Powerless. Usually a truth about themselves. Like Euthenize. But with the truth. 2. To call someone out on a huge lie. Example - "Dude at the end of 'A Few Good Men,' Jack Nicholson gets truthenized."

12) Homoblivious: Not having the ability to recognize homosexuals as homosexuals; a lack of gaydar. Example - "He was so homoblivious that he didn't know that guy was coming on to him."

13) Unprotected Sleep: Turning off your alarm clock and immediately going back to sleep risking not waking up for a job, class, or other daily task. "I'm lucky that I didn't miss my final exam after having 30 minutes of unprotected sleep."

14) Epiphanot: An idea that at first seems like an amazing insight (at least to the conceiver) but later turns out to be pointless, mundane, stupid, or incorrect, and often is the root cause of bad decisions. Mostly occurs under the influence of drugs or alcohol.

15) Blogorrhea: To write a blog entry just for the sake of posting an entry, and not because you have done anything interesting that day. Example - see current post!

Crooked Capital or Crooked Family

2007-10-19T15:11:00.000-07:00

I just noticed that the Header Picture I recently uploaded looks like a photo-shopped picture of us. It looks like I wanted the Capital Building the be in the background, so with a few clicks of the mouse I made so...but I didn't and I can't figure out why the building looks crooked. Or maybe Kimo, Jack, and I are all leaning to the right? Hmmm? Is is a crooked capital or a crooked family?

Well Jaime took the photo so maybe she did something!!!! (Jaime and I recently discovered I can blame far more on her than I ever thought possible, so I have decided to get started right away to make up for lost time) Of course I attempted to edit/crop the photo, so more than likely I did it somehow....but if I had to do it again I am sure I couldn't to save my life (at least not on purpose).

Jackson's First Scary Movie!

2007-10-17T20:48:00.000-07:00

After finishing the JibJab movie from my last post, and while viewing the finished product, my 3-year-old started freaking out crying behind my back. You see he was watching the video as well, and it didn't even cross my mind that upon seeing it he would be scared. First of all, the images are so obviously fake (I guess a 3 year old might beg to differ on this point), and second of all I am pretty sure (though I don't totally want to admit it) he has seen worse. However, I soon found it was the pictures of all people he recognized looking really mean and scary that got to him. When I realized he was scared I immediately turned it off, but he continued crying, "Why is Kimo (yes he used his Dad's first name) hurting you? Why is he taking your shoes?..." and so forth. I feel so bad...especially because I was laughing so hard I too was crying, but also because those images are now in his sweet little head. So as I write this post I am simultaneously explaining to little Jack all about pretend, acting, make-believe, and "Why in the world do people do all of the above?" Why do people pretend? Why do people act? Why do people make-believe. Holy Cow! I didn't realize how affected he would be by this simple and (to be quite honest) pretty dumb video. How do celebrity children deal with their parents on the big screen doing everything from killing, pretending to be the parents of other kids, yelling and screaming, looking crazy, and anything else scandalous, inappropriate for children, or otherwise scary? I am now pretending to cry, laugh, be mad, etc all to show him that pretend is...well just that: PRETEND!

I love Scary Movies

2007-10-17T20:43:00.001-07:00

Star in Your Own JibJab! It's Free!

Life Lessons Learned From Geese!

2007-10-17T10:50:00.000-07:00

Have any of you been to a leadership training (or perhaps a HUNDRED! - since it seems like they are a daily thing now) where they use the "flock of geese" example to inspire us to feel like and act like a "real team" in our respective work environments? For those of you nodding in the affirmative you can stop reading now, because I am basically regurgitating the ingredients of one such meeting. For those of you who have no clue about the the geese thing (I have actually come to think geese are pretty cool), the following are interesting facts about them - from which many obvious lessons can be learned, and life applications made:

Every aspect of the flock organization is focused on the achievement of a common goal.

1: Each member of the flock is personally responsible for getting wherever the flock as a whole is going. Each member looks to itself – not the leader- to determine what to do.

2: Every member knows the direction of the flock. Sharing the common direction makes assuming the leadership role easier.

3: As each goose flaps its wings it creates an ‘uplift’ for the birds that follow. By flying in a ‘V’ formation the whole flock has a 71% greater flying range than if each bird flew alone.

4: Every member is willing to assume leadership when the flock needs it. When the lead goose gets tired a more energetic goose from the back of the formation assumes the leadership position. (Also allowing the tired bird to take advantage of the ‘uplifting’ power of the bird it now follows) This allows the flock to maintain the fastest pace possible. *Whenever a goose falls out of formation it suddenly feels the drag and resistance of flying alone, and therefore quickly moves back into formation and back into the ‘lifting power’ of the birds ahead of it*

5: Followers encourage leaders. Members honk from behind to encourage leaders to maintain the pace and direction.

6: Members of the flock all look after each other. When a goose gets sick, wounded, or shot down, two geese drop out of formation and follow it down to help and protect it. They stay with it until it dies or is able to fly again, and then they launch out with another formation to catch up with the flock.

7: When the nature of the work changes, so do the geese. They reorganize themselves to achieve the best results. For example: They fly in a ‘V’, land in waves, and feed in groups of four.

"Redacted" gets Redacted

2007-10-11T16:45:00.000-07:00

I was outraged when I first learned about the new Brian De Palma film "Redacted" - which was financed by Billionaire Mark Cuban's Magnolia Pictures - and I had intended on spewing said outrage here (the only therapeutic medium I can afford), but it fell off my radar due to all the Ahmadinejad loving going on at Columbia. Thankfully recent squabbling between the controversial director and his twinkle-toed financier over *"differing visions" of the film has boosted the film back onto my radar.

(* "Differing visions" meaning Cuban nixed images at the end of the film -taken from various sources on the internet- of real soldiers because:

"none of the people in the photos had legally signed off" - according to Magnolia President Eamon Bowles

"Mark Cuban was worried the images would offend audiences" - according to Brian De Palma

and

"fair-use laws in America are completely unfair, and they set it up so that we cannot use images of our own culture to tell the truth about our own culture" - according to Jason Kliot, one of the film's producers)

***If I wasn't such a staunch supporter of The Constitution of The United States...

(ahh isn't it beautiful!)

...I would want the whole film REDACTED. But alas I am a fair-minded American - one that understands we are a blessed nation, and I value our rights, privileges, and protections so much that I am even willing to put up with the De Palmas, Robbins, and Penns of the world.

Anyways, as I already noted the film was made by Brian De Palma (think Scarface, The Untouchables, and Carlito's Way) a director who seems to have a preoccupation with pushing the proverbial envelope when it come to violence, graphic brutality, depravity and anything Anti-American, is said to have excelled in his recent envelope- pushing attempt. "Redacted" is a film based on the real life rape and murder of a 14-year-old Iraqi schoolgirl by U.S. Soldiers, who also murdered her parents and younger sister. De Palma (who won the Silver Lion Award for Best Director for this film at the Venice Film Festival) recently said in a news conference that, "The pictures are what will stop the war...[and]... One only hopes that these images will get the public incensed enough to get their congressmen to vote against the war.”

(Brian De Palma)

I hope THIS PICTURE (directly above) "will get the public incensed enough to" stop listening to and accepting anything out of Hollywood as real life. The acts depicted in this film are truly heinous crimes committed by criminals who were in fact U.S. Soldiers - but the problem with the film itself is that it sends the message that all US Soldiers are criminals. Most American’s who read about this type of war crime understand it is horrible and unforgivable, but they also understand this is not the norm for US Soldiers. De Palma, however genius he may be considered as a film maker, is obviously not able to grasp this concept himself - and I fear this type of film will only serve to:
1: cause many Iraqis to believe this is representative of all U.S. Soldiers
and
2: give insurgents, terrorists, and any anti-American extremists the perfect excuse to continue committing their own atrocities and war crimes...

...and the film will therefore be a direct cause of death and torture of our soldiers.

FYI: It is important to note that the soldiers involved in these crimes have been prosecuted
and are currently serving their time (those most directly involved are serving 90 and 100+ year sentences...some of the longest sentences in military history). I am not in anyway condoning, excusing, or trying to soften the severity of their crimes - I only seek to defend the majority of our soldiers who have been put at risk by De Palma's blatant "anti-soldier/low attempt to prey upon the many sincere anti-war Americans".

De Palma thinks this film will cause Americans to "see the light", unite together, and force Congress to get us out of Iraq! So, is he saying (as the film implies) a group of US soldiers raping and killing a 14-year old Iraqi and her family is a fair representation of what the war is really about? Is he asking America to go to Congress and demand they bring the troops home so they will stop raping all of Iraq? No, of course not, but De Palma is irresponsibly capitalizing on this crime and using it as anti-war propaganda to paint an unfair picture of the state of things in Iraq as well as the progress of the War on Terror- As a result of his thirst for brutal imagery and understanding of "shock-value" he is also painting an unfair depiction of our Soldiers, and therefore putting them in mortal danger- He is flat out UnAmerican for making this film, pushing it, and publicizing it for the world (that includes Iraqis, the innocent civilians as well as the insurgents, terrorists) to see, because it will only further exacerbate the danger our troops face in a hostile country during a time of war. Make your "I Hate America" films when we are not at war!

(Mark Cuban)

So is Mark Cuban as UnAmerican as Brian De Palma? I would really like to forget that he financed the film, or that he once wanted to produce a 9/11 "Truth" film, but I can't. Still...He did nix the pics - and though it can convincingly be argued that he only did it due to legal concerns, one can hope he also did it out of moral conviction. (Such as sparing the families of the soldiers [in the images De Palma borrowed from internet] - many of whom were murdered in Iraq- from accidentally watching the film and recognizing their lost loved ones...etc) I do hope the latter is the case, but the jury is definitely still out.

Going Dark for the Winter

2007-10-04T17:49:00.000-07:00

In an effort to live up to my "about me" section, I think it is necessary for my blogs to be both deep and shallow...blah blah etc etc et al. Therefore, I have decided to get off my moral soapbox for the time being (more than likely a very short time being), and tackle some very serious color issues: Going Dark for the winter.

Every fall as the leaves begin to change colors I become inspired (no doubt by their beautiful rich autumn hues) to change my hair to match. Unfortunately this does not always turn out as I envision it will, and since growing out a mistake takes so much time and effort I am neither quick to forget nor eager to re-live the painful process. Fortunately (for my poor damaged hair) this year I get to live vicariously through my sister Jaime, who just had her hair darkened to a lovely autumn/winter shade that actually looks really really good (unlike my many shady past disasters).

This is her old hair color (sorry Jaime I couldn't find another picture with your hair down), by the way I was forcing her to make that face. I wanted to use it for my "PC'd Off" post, but I don't think she looks PC'd off...instead she looks like she rockin' out to something.

...And the new color! Much darker and richer (does that sound grammatically correct?) which I think makes it look really healthy.

This is in natural light...and she doesn't typically wear clothing with convenient velcro "just in case", she is in her cool BLUE flight suit (and in case you are wondering this blue is only cool on a flight suit)

Children Are Our Future, Invest in Our Future

2007-10-02T20:41:00.000-07:00

"Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere." Martin Luther King Jr.

This man is carrying the body of his three-year-old son, Mahmoud Modher, who was found dead three days after he was kidnapped in Baqouba (about 35 miles northeast of Baghdad, Iraq)
on Wednesday, Sept. 26, 2007.

While searching online one night last week, probably for the latest Hollywood Gossip or newest fashion trend, I came across this picture (along with the pictures below) and each night since I have not been able to think about anything else...

*Each night I log onto this blog with the intention of publishing a new post, but
*Each night this image seems to invade my mind, stump my thoughts and trivialize all my
blogging ideas
*Each night I decide not to write about this picture (or those below), and the feelings and
thoughts it evokes within me, because my words can neither serve justice to this little boy's
memory nor relief to his family's pain...

Tonight however I have decided to write about all of these pictures (otherwise I believe I will never blog again), though I do not pretend to be worthy of the task, just sincere in my sorrow for the children who are always innocent victims.

I have a son, he is Jack from my most recent post, who is also three years old. The thought alone of carrying his lifeless body invokes such powerful feelings of dread, horror, panic, terror, agony, pain, torment and utter misery that I don't think it fair to pretend I could ever understand the pain that is so evident in this father's face, for I live in America. America where:

*I do not have to worry about my child starving and dying from malnutrition
*I do not have to worry about my child needing medical attention but not receiving it
*I do not have to worry about my child being kidnapped and forced to do unspeakable things as
a soldier for rouge militias
*I do not have to worry about my child being blown-up in a car bomb to further terrorist
agendas... (and the list goes on)

As I look at my child, listen to him talk and sing and dance and play, as I feed him and tuck him safely into bed at night - I realize how privileged he is, and I know I would die to protect him and preserve his safe privileged lifestyle. At the same time I can't help but feel the injustice too many children throughout the world must face each day, and know their parents' desire to love and protect them are no less sincere than mine. However, I have the advantage of living in a free country, a safe country, a democratic country, a GOOD country (despite claims by some of its hypocritical citizens who sit comfortably and safely within the borders of its protection as they criticize, complain, and spout lies and self-loathing hate) - I can't look at the following and not want to spend every last penny, every last drop of blood to offer a better life to children all over the world, yes even the children in

Iraq
The Sudan
The Democratic Republic of Congo
Afghanistan
Kosovo
Bosnia
Uganda
Rwanda
Sierra Leone
Somolia
Myanmar (aka Burma)
North South East and West
Children from all over the world:

Malnutrition is implicated in more than half of all child deaths worldwide - a proportion unmatched by any infectious disease since the Black Death

Doratea, 5, does her homework as her mother Candelaria, who is six months pregnant, makes corn tortillas for lunch in their adobe home on the outskirts of Chiquimula April 19, 2007. According to the U.N. World Food Program, 49 percent of children five and under suffer from chronic malnutrition in Guatemala.

Indonesian children play on a railway track in a slum area in Jakarta, January 30, 2007, as a train travels past

In over twenty countries around the world, children are direct participants in war. Denied a childhood and often subjected to horrific violence, an estimated 200,000 to 300,000 children are serving as soldiers for both rebel groups and government forces in current armed conflicts. These young combatants participate in all aspects of contemporary warfare. They wield AK-47s and M-16s on the front lines of combat, serve as human mine detectors, participate in suicide missions, carry supplies, and act as spies, messengers or lookouts.Physically vulnerable and easily intimidated, children typically make obedient soldiers. Many are abducted or recruited by force, and often compelled to follow orders under threat of death. Others join armed groups out of desperation. As society breaks down during conflict, leaving children no access to school, driving them from their homes, or separating them from family members, many children perceive armed groups as their best chance for survival. Others seek escape from poverty or join military forces to avenge family members who have been killed.

I am sure that anyone who views these images can't help but acknowledge the obvious injustices these innocent children face, but unfortunately not everyone is willing to fight for these children. I guess it is just too expensive, inconvenient, not politically correct (to push "evil" democracy on others), none of our business, "only for oil," doesn't really affect "me"....but not to worry, in our absence others will inevitably step in and "take care" of these children's needs. (Note you may not want to read the following for it might take you out of your comfort zone)

The Voices of Child Soldiers

“The section leader ordered us to take cover and open fire. There were seven of us, and seven or ten of the enemy. I was too afraid to look, so I put my face in the ground and shot my gun up at the sky. I was afraid their bullets would hit my head. I fired two magazines, about forty founds. I was afraid that if I didn’t fire the section leader would punish me.” - Khin Maung Than, recruited by Burma’s national army at age eleven

“My parents refused to give me to the LTTE so about fifteen of them came to my house—it was both men and women, in uniforms, with rifles, and guns in holsters…. I was fast asleep when they came to get me at one in the morning… These people dragged me out of the house. My father shouted at them, saying, “What is going on?” but some of the LTTE soldiers took my father away towards the woods and beat him…. They also pushed my mother onto the ground when she tried to stop them.” -girl recruited by the Tamil Tigers in Sri Lanka at age sixteen.

"I was captured in Lofa County by government forces. The forces beat me, they held me and kept me in the bush. I was tied with my arms kept still and was raped there. I was fourteen years old. . . . After the rape, I was taken to a military base. . . I was used in the fighting to carry medicine. During the fighting I would carry medicine on my head and was not allowed to talk. I had to stand very still. I had to do a lot of work for the soldiers, sweeping, washing, cleaning. During this time, I felt really bad. I was afraid. I wanted to go home, but was made to stay with the soldiers". - Evelyn, recruited in Liberia by government forces at age fourteen

"I had a friend, Juanita, who got into trouble for sleeping around. We had been friends in civilian life and we shared a tent together. The commander said that it didn’t matter that she was my friend. She had committed an error and had to be killed. I closed my eyes and fired the gun, but I didn’t hit her. So I shot again. The grave was right nearby. I had to bury her and put dirt on top of her. The commander said,”You did very well. Even though you started to cry, you did well. You’ll have to do this again many more times, and you’ll have to learn not to cry.””- Angela, joined the FARC-EP in Colombia at age twelve

“Early on when my brothers and I were captured, the LRA explained to us that all five brothers couldn’t serve in the LRA because we would not perform well. So they tied up my two younger brothers and invited us to watch. Then they beat them with sticks until two of them died. They told us it would give us strength to fight. My youngest brother was nine years old.” - Martin, recruited by the Lord’s Resistance Army in Uganda at age twelve

Jack

2007-09-27T17:27:00.000-07:00

On a lighter note...

2007-09-23T19:43:00.000-07:00

I'd like to take a moment to give recognition where recognition is deserved: Seattle is the best city on earth! I can think of a million reasons right off, and I will tell you every single reason in due time. For now however here are a two:

1: It is full of smart people.
Facts: (just to name a few)
*Seattle is ranked the most literate city by Central Conn. State Univ
*Seattle has the highest percentage of residents with a college degree or higher
*The Seattle Public Library system has the highest percentage of library card-holders per capita in the country.

(The very Green downtown library: one of my favorite places and one of Jack's...we love to take the bus here together and spend hours reading by the eco-friendly light.)

*Seattle was the first city in the US to play a Beatles song on the radio (very smart move)

*The Seattle General Strike in 1919 was the first general strike in the country. 60,000 shipyard workers walked off their jobs

*The University of Washington (need I say more?)

2: Pike Place Market.
Fact: The Farmer's Market at Pike Place Market is the longest continuously operating farmer's market in the US (1907)

2007 marks the 100th birthday of the Market, and as part of the glut of celebrations was the Pigs on Parade (to commemorate the unofficial mascot, "Rachel," a bronze piggy bank located below the market clock, as well as the Chinese Year of the Pig): 100 fiberglass/procine pigs, adorned by area artists, have been dispersed throughout the city for all to discover. The following are just a few (but look forward to more showing their snouts in future entries):

Despite the tourist trap the market can be, or is (especially in the summer) certain things are worth wading through the mob to acquire: fresh fish, lotion bars, great deals on flower bouquets, mouth-watering mini donuts (made even more irresistible due to the fact those loafers never bother showing up for work, making it near impossible to get the blasted things), and of course the gum wall (also known as "The Wall of Gum")

Hidden deep within the Market's Post Alley,

And located on the outside wall of the Market Theater, we find the Gum Wall. Its beginnings can be traced back to the early 1990s, when theater goers (waiting in line for the box office to open) began sticking their gum to the wall (obviously). In the beginning the gum was used to secure coins to the wall, but as the coins soon disappeared so did the practice. However the gum wall itself continues to grow in height, width, and length...as does the images in my mind of little tuberculosis bacteria floating through the alley.

For those times you just can't find a garbage can, napkin, or even the smallest scrap of paper...you always know where the gum wall is (West on Union/North on Post Alley)!

And just in case it hasn't grossed you out sufficiently, here is a close-up:

A bit blurry, but you get the point!

That PC's Me Off!

2007-09-21T22:27:00.000-07:00

Certain events have occurred within the last few weeks that have made me mad, made me angry, and have flat out PC'd ME OFF! For example (not necessarily in order of importance or rage levels):

PC-ness in general (as in Politically Correct not Personal Computer):
*GI Joe the "International Peace Keeper"
*Columbia University legitimizing a terrorist
*MIT "art" (Note to Star: The airport is not a museum)
*The NY Times (Not a legitimate news source, as previously believed, but instead ONE BIG

EDITORIAL)
*Columbia University (again) banning the ROTC and military recruiters (but not Iranian

President Mahmoud "AmuI'maNutJob" - thanks Leno!)
*Presidential/COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF hopefuls (not naming names of course) refusal to

condemn the Moveon.org "Betray Us" ad - not because they refused to condemn

it, but why they refused: GOLDEN HANDCUFFS and MOVEON.ORG!
*Those who preach tolerance, unless of course you don't agree with them ( at which time they
become the most intolerant people around)...

...AND TRUST ME THE LIST GOES ON (I am choosing to spare the 5 people who may actually read this blog, since I am sure I am related to all of them and they have no doubt heard it all before)

....And now a little bit of:

In a 2004 email composed by Eli Pariser (Executive Director of Moveon.org) we learn the democratic party is now owned (or bound with handcuffs made of gold) by the "grassroots" (funded by billionaire George Soros) organization Moveon.org:

“In the last year, grassroots contributors like us gave more than $300 million to the Kerry campaign and the DNC, and proved that the Party doesn't need corporate cash to be competitive. Now it's our Party: we bought it, we own it, and we're going to take it back.” hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm?

On Monday, September 24, 2007 Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejud will speak and participate in a Q&A session with faculty and students at Columbia University, according to the University,

"This opportunity for faculty and students to engage the President of Iran came about after Ambassador Mohammad Khazaee at the Iranian Mission to the UN initiated contact with Columbia through a member of the faculty, Richard Bulliet, who is a specialist on Iran."

Hmmmmmmm, "Well they asked and we believe in free speech, and stuff, and like we totally said yes, because then we will be so much cooler and open-mindeder than Harvard or Yale!"

JUST SAY NO!!!!!

Why? Well for a variety of reasons such as the Distinguished President Ahmadinejud's 1: denial of the holocaust; 2: his public call for the destruction of the state of Israel (yes I know that does seem to be the thing to say these days by our lovely terrorist elites, but he is a HEAD OF STATE); 3: his government's imprisoning of journalists (lets say it together Columbia "freedom of speech"), and scholars (including Columbia alumni Dr. Kian Tajbakhsh); 4: his governments widely documented suppression of civil society and particularly of women's rights; 5: his blatant pursuit of nuclear ambitions in opposition to international sanction....need I go on? (I actually got these points from Columbia President Bollinger who plans to challenge Ahmadinejud on these issues. While I don't think Ahmadinejud deserves the medium through which he will be challenged - I do hope Bollinger lives up to his end of the CHALLENGE...we will see Monday.)

FYI: Did you know that the ROTC is banned from Columbia University's campus, and if a student wants to participate he/she must go off campus to do so. Military recruiters are also banned.

FYI: Did you know that when Jim Gilchrist, the founder of Minutemen, was asked to speak at Columbia in October students mobbed the stage preventing the speech from taking place. He was asked to come back at a later date by The Columbia Political Union who then uninvited him after consulting with various student organizations, because you know they value freedom of speech even if they don't agree with your ideas. *This is a great example of preaching tolerance while being absolutely intolerant of those who do not agree.

Think about it. Just because it is Politically Correct does not mean it is in fact correct (as in free from error, accurate etc), and that really PCs ME OFF!

*note: I must give credit where credit is due: my new favorite saying (that PCs me off, or some variation) was borne of my father's great mind, and I can therefore take no credit...(except that he did say it in response to my text message informing him that GI Joe is no longer an American Soldier, but an International Peace Keeper {aka UN Peacekeeping Soldier}).

Myopia, Monet, and Me

2007-09-19T18:53:00.000-07:00

Today I got to leave work early to go to the eye doctor. Upon arrival I was first chastised for wearing my contacts too long...

1: too many consecutive hours

2: too many consecutive days

3: too many consecutive weeks

4: too many consecutive months

And then I was given the bad news....my diagnoses:

1: Myopia (nearsightedness) OK I already knew this one, but

2: Unspecified Corneal Neovascularization, or the development of new blood vessels in tissue where circulation has been impaired- was unexpected despite the overly obvious signs, such as the "development of new blood vessels" in my eye balls (which I have noticed as of late) . In my case I have basically been starving my eye balls of O2 for so long my body thinks the lack thereof is due to the existing blood vessels slacking on their jobs (hence the development of more)...poor little guys are getting a bad name due to my negligence.

And Finally

3: My contacts have been in so long they are actually leaving imprints on my eyeballs! I am not sure if this is bad or not (ha ha) but the Doc did call a fellow Doc into the room to look at it (that has only happened to me one other time in a doctors office and it wasn't a good thing then either). He did not, however, include the imprint-issue in my "after visit summary" which I have sufficiently searched for clues as to how soon I can expect to become completely blind. In fact, at one point it even says "Eye health is normal." Hmmmmmmmmmm?

This is what I see when not wearing contacts/glasses:(

By the way, when is the last time you looked at someone with dilated eyes? It is a somewhat disturbing sight...I picked up my sister (Jaime) from her eye appointment a couple of months ago and I couldn't carrying on a conversation with her. She was freaking me out. Today when I got home from my appointment I rushed to the bathroom to put my new contacts in...

(By the way, I don't recommend walking around downtown Seattle when you are in a new state of blindness - see blurry street shot from above, that is how the world looked through my eyes - I had to ask my three year old son when we could cross the street. "Do you see a little green...some might say white...man or do you see a little red...some might say orange...hand?")

...I freaked myself out.

This is what my world will inevitably look like one day (or so I fear), once I manage to permanently damage my eyeballs. My world will be a Monet painting... from up close!